


Awakening

by Discovery929



Category: Janet King (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-04-07 18:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14087094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Discovery929/pseuds/Discovery929
Summary: Season 3 ending left Janet and Bianca broken. Me, too. I started writing a little story to heal my broken heart! It has been some consolation.





	1. Chapter 1

“Today has been one of the worst days of my life,” Bianca thought as she slumped back on the lounge, sipping chamomile tea. She had chosen tea over wine, because drinking alone didn’t seem to fit her mood. “Thank God I’m on holidays.” A couple of months ago, she had been told she needed to clear some of her accrued leave. If the NCC investigation had dragged on, the leave may have needed to be deferred. Now, the investigation had ended, frustrating as that was, with Darren Faulkes walking away untouched. And here she was, broken-hearted, drinking tea. No work to throw herself into as a refuge.

She had thought to spend time with Janet, free of being on call and the hectic pace of work. Help out picking up the twins, hopefully make some progress thawing Emma’s chilly resentment of her. Now, the last thing she needed was to be close to Janet. Go to the gym. Do some running. Maybe even go to Cairns for a while.

She stretched out her legs, closed her eyes and savoured the hot tea. The calming effect of the chamomile was broken by the door bell. Bianca opened the door and there, looking somewhat sheepish, stood Janet. Good thing she had stuck to tea, she was going to need a clear head. Regaining her composure, she asked Janet to come in.

They stood awkwardly, a safe distance between them.  
“Wine, coffee?” Bianca asked. “I’m having chamomile.”  
“Coffee, thanks, since you’re not having wine.” Bianca made the coffee in silence, handed it to Janet and motioned her to sit down. They sat sipping their drinks, not looking at each other. The silence was broken by the ringtone on Janet’s phone. She dug the phone out of her pocket.  
“Sorry, it might be the twins.” The number was unfamiliar, so Janet hung up. “Probably a scam call.” As she placed the phone next to her, a text message came through. She apologised to Bianca again and looked at the message. “Phil King here Janet, pls pick up.”  
Bianca read the message. “Who’s Phil?”  
“A cousin of some sort. Lives in WA” The phone rang again, this time Janet answered.  
“Hi Phil, what’s up?”  
“Did you know Graham was over here?”  
“In Geraldton? No, I didn’t. What’s he doing over there, and why are you ringing?” Janet hadn’t seen the family since she was a child, WA being so far away. What was her father doing over there for goodness sake?  
“Never mind about why for now, I’m ringing because Graham has been injured and is in hospital. For no apparent reason he was punched in the face, and as he fell he cracked his head. He was in and out of consciousness on the way to hospital, and was asking for you. Now he’s in an induced coma. Thought you would want to know.”

Janet was trying to take it all in and said nothing.  
“Janet, are you still there?” Phil’s tone was anxious.  
“Yes Phil, I’m here. Thank you for letting me know. Can I get back to you shortly?”  
“Yes, sure. You ok?”  
“I’m fine, thanks. I need to work out what to do. Will ring back soon.”  
Janet frowned at the phone, her expression almost angry.  
“What is it?” Bianca asked.  
“Graham. He’s in hospital in Geraldton. Got punched in the face and is in an induced coma. Seems he asked for me on the way to hospital.” Bianca waited for Janet to continue. “He manages to stuff up my life, even from the other side of the damn country.” Shaking her head, she gave Bianca a rueful glance. “I guess that’s unfair. He can’t help it if some thug decided to take a swing at him. Is there any point in rushing over there I wonder?”  
Bianca chose not to take it as a question, but rather as Janet pondering, so didn’t comment. Finally she broke the silence: “Where are the twins?”  
“Tony’s with them at home."

When Janet had arrived home with the twins, after Bianca had handed back her keys, and called time on their relationship, she dealt with the usual evening chaos of screen time, dinner, bath and story time. When the kids were finally asleep she flopped on the lounge, the pain of the day engulfing her. Bianca had said that it was too late. Now, suddenly, Janet sprang to life, jumping to her feet. She would not accept that it was too late. “If Tony can sit with the twins, I’ll go round to her place right now, tonight,” she thought. 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be right over.” Tony knew Janet could be hard work. Bianca must have had good reason to walk away. He was more than a little surprised that Janet was so quick to try to fix things. Half an hour later he was at her front door.  
“Thanks for dropping everything to come over.”  
“Glad to. Now how about you get your shit together. She’s good for you.”  
“I know. But she doesn’t think I’m good for her.”  
“You’ll have to sort that one out with her. Here’s your taxi. Get out of here.”  
Taxi was an easier option than trying to park near Bianca’s place.  
“I’m going. I’m going. Thanks.”

Now, sitting here with Bianca, came the complication of Graham. Janet decided she should go to Geraldton, since he had asked for her. ‘Round and around in her mind went the thought that if he died she would regret not going. “I need to go,” she said to Bianca. Then, after a very long pause, “Would you come with me?” Bianca’s eyes flew up to meet Janet’s. Why was she asking this? For that matter why was she here? That had been lost with the call from Phil. Bianca quickly decided this was a time for Bianca ‘I’m your support no matter what.’ (At arms length). Bianca ‘I’m finished with this one-sided relationship,’ could re-surface later. “Of course I will.” She held Janet’s gaze, without showing the feeling they had shared over the past few months.

Janet was relieved. “I’ll go on-line to see when we can get on a flight. Probably won’t be a connecting flight to Geraldton.” Flights all booked, Janet joined Bianca in the kitchen.  
“I’m having lemon/ginger. Would you like more coffee, or maybe wine this time?”  
“I’d love a small wine thanks, no more coffee this late.”  
“That’s what I thought.” That little half smile that Janet so loved.  
“We are on a flight at noon tomorrow, but we won’t be seated together. There’s a two hour wait in Perth, which is better than I expected, then Virgin to Geraldton.”  
“That’s ok. I’ll book a taxi for the morning and pick you up on the way.” Bianca was glad that they would not sit together on the long flight. The two hours in Perth could be awkward, but they would have to talk sooner or later. 

“I’ll ring Tony to let him know, then see if Mum will stay with the twins.” Tony assured Janet that they would manage without her, and to do what she had to do. She told him she would be home soon, then rang her mother. After explaining the situation, Janet told her that she was going to Geraldton, and would she stay with the kids? Her mother’s tone was acerbic  
“Why would you go traipsing across the country for THAT man? You need to let go of him, as I did years ago!”  
“Mummm.” Janet tried to control her impatience.  
“Yes, yes, I’ll be over by 7:30 in the morning. You know I’m always happy to have them.”  
“Thank you. I really do appreciate it. Bianca is coming with me.”  
“I’m glad to hear that. See you in the morning.”

Finally Janet rang Phil to let him know the arrangements. He offered to book them into a motel and arrange a hire car, which she gratefully accepted. They finished their drinks and Janet decided it was time to go. As the taxi drove off, Bianca gave her that little half smile again, then went inside to pack for the trip, all the while wondering where all this would lead. So much for avoiding proximity with Janet.

The flight to Perth had been tedious but bearable. Janet buried herself in some research, whilst Bianca listened on headphones to music she had brought with her. They we seated several rows apart, and didn’t exchange looks or words during the trip. In Perth the wait was almost two and a half hours - time for leisurely tea and coffee, followed by slightly strained small talk as they waited in the departure lounge for their flight to be called.  
Phil met them when they arrived in Geraldton and after updating them on Graham’s condition, which was unchanged, he suggested they might meet for dinner the following evening, as he was sure they would be tired after the long trip. The two agreed. Phil gave them a hand getting their luggage to the hire car, and turned to go back to his car. “Give me a call when you’re settled Janet and we’ll arrange dinner.”  
“Sure, Phil. Thanks for everything.” It was a short drive into the city and after checking in at the motel, they drove to the hospital.

Graham King looked just as unpleasant unconscious as conscious. No smug smirk now, but his lifelong practice of treating people badly was etched into his face. Janet sat beside his hospital bed, looking at the man who had been the source of so much emotional pain for her. Bianca had gone to the kiosk to get coffee for Janet, and tea for herself. As Janet watched Graham, her lack of emotion surprised her. She was still trying to figure it out, when Bianca came in and handed her the coffee. “Thanks. He doesn’t look great does he?”  
“No, he doesn’t. You ok?”  
“Oh yes, I’m fine, thanks.” She was showing no emotion at all. Not concern, not anger or annoyance. Nothing. Bianca thought she looked as if she were somewhere else.  
“Think I’ll go for a walk in the grounds. Be back in a little while.” With a frown of concern, she left Janet to her thoughts.

But thought seemed to be suspended, as she just gazed at her father, hooked up to machines and looking more dead than alive. She had no idea how long she sat there, her mind seemingly frozen. Gradually she came back to the present, and thought of Bianca saying that it was too late for them. As she looked at Graham it dawned on her. “I can’t let it be too late with Bianca. It’s certainly too late for you Graham.” She felt no rancour as she said it, just a huge sense of relief that she was suddenly no longer tied to his opinion of her, nor did it matter if he loved her or not.

As she continued to watch Graham, she thought “What a harsh, unfeeling man you are and what a loveless life you’ve had. Why did I spend all those years agonising over you?” She leaned back, closed her eyes and thoughts of Bianca took over. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind, opened her eyes and looked back at Graham. “Oh shit!” she murmured, “I could end up just like you.” She pondered that thought and it terrified her. “But I’m not like you. I can love. My precious children, and I do love Bianca. I’ve been shutting her out, just the way you’ve shut me out. Worse still, I’ve taken her for granted.” Sitting there slowly absorbing this epiphany, Janet realised she had treated Ash the same way, and remorse washed over her. She tried to remember all that Bianca had said that awful night. The night she walked out of Janet’s house, after saying she couldn’t cope with the whole thing any more. Janet had been so shocked, that Bianca’s words had melded into a blur. If there were to be any chance with Bianca, Janet knew she had a lot of work to do. “I want to know her. What does she want? I’ve been so absorbed in my needs and my work, that I haven’t given her needs much thought at all.” Janet flushed, ashamed of her neglect. “What’s her favourite colour? What music does she like?”

This self analysis was interrupted by Bianca’s return. She sat down next to Janet, puzzled by her changed demeanour. Her face was now a little flushed, and there was something deep in her eyes. Bianca wondered what had caused the change. With one last look at Graham, Janet turned to Bianca. “We can go now. I’m finished here.” As they left the room, Janet realised that it was true, she was finished with Graham. It was indeed too late. She had finally let go of her father. It wasn’t important why he had asked for her. Probably to inflict more emotional pain. Now he couldn’t. She was emotionally free of him.

Back at the motel, Janet messaged Tony that they had arrived safely, and there was no change in Graham’s condition. She quickly set up a Skype with her mother, so she could talk to Liam and Emma before bedtime, which, given the time difference, was close. She didn’t mention Graham to Robyn and she didn’t ask. The twins were excited to talk to her, and wanted to know when she was coming home. Janet hadn’t thought about that yet. She assured them it would be soon, blew them kisses, and with “love you, love you,” handed them back to their grandmother, who was anxious to get them to bed. With a wistful look she closed the computer.

 

Phil had been right, they were tired after the trip and the hospital. They ordered room service dinner, during which they spoke little. Janet was lost in her thoughts. Bianca wondered what those thoughts might be, hoping that Janet would eventually share at least some of what was going on in her head. (She was staying right away from the heart).

They finished their meal and moved to the more comfortable chairs. Janet searched Bianca’s face, looking for a softening in her eyes. There was none. Determined to give hope her best shot, she moved her chair a little closer, but not too close.  
“Can we talk about the possibility of us Bianca?”  
Janet knew she deserved it when Bianca backed away slightly, stood up and went out on to the balcony. She gazed down at the children in the playground opposite, and beyond the playground to the stunning view of the ocean. Janet joined her, careful to leave space between them. 

“When I sat there in the hospital looking at Graham, this man who has lived an almost loveless life, I wondered how I could have cared so much about his opinion of me.”  
Ah, so this could be the cause of the change Bianca saw at the hospital.  
Janet continued, “He must have had something going for him once for Mum to have married him and had two children with him. I don’t want to end up like him. What a stuff-up I’ve made of everything. I can see now that I’ve taken you for granted, shut you out. Can you let me try to change that?” 

Bianca wasn’t ready to expose her battered heart, and couldn’t bring herself to agree to give their relationship another try. Yet she didn’t want to walk away either. What to say?  
“Janet I don’t want you to feel you have to change.”  
”That’s what you said when you walked out the other night, isn’t it?“  
“Yes. And that I don’t want to feel bad about wanting to be first with the person I love. It’s only a couple of days, since I decided it was no use trying to be with you. It was such a hard decision, but it’s no good unless I am up there with the twins in your life. They must always come first, of course. Apart from them, I’m not sure you can put anyone first all the time.”

A suffocating fear gripped Janet. What if she had already lost this incredible woman? Bianca loved her, she was sure of that. Sometimes love is not enough. It had come to that for Bianca. She summoned the courage to continue: “I want to know you Bianca.”  
“You mean apart from what you already know?” Bianca allowed herself the hint of a cheeky smile, to relieve some of the tension she felt.  
Janet winced. “I know that’s gone at least for now. But I want you in my life Bianca. Can we spend time together, getting to know each other?” Still Bianca couldn’t risk her tightly wrapped heart.  
“It’s too soon Janet. Shouldn’t you ring Phil, to arrange tomorrow night’s dinner.”  
Janet fought off her disappointment. “Oh yes, I’d better do that.” It was decided that they would have dinner at an Indian restaurant overlooking the ocean, about a kilometre from the motel. Phil and his wife Ruth would pick them up at six the next evening.

Bianca had stayed on the balcony while Janet rang Phil. When she finished the call Janet came back to her side, still keeping a little distance away. She knew that she had brought on herself Bianca’s obvious reluctance to be close to her. Why then, had she so readily agreed to come here with her? Surely it was a sign of hope, or was it just Bianca being compassionate and protective, as always? The sun had slipped under the horizon, and it was almost dark. A pleasant, balmy evening. It was strange to see the sun setting over the ocean, when they were accustomed to it rising over the water in Sydney. A mosquito landed on Janet’s arm and she swatted it before it could sting. “We’d better go in before the mozzies get us.”

Back inside, Janet gave half a yawn. “I think I need some sleep.”  
Another cheeky little grin from Bianca. “Should we toss for who has which bed?”  
“Don’t think so. You choose.” Janet was too weary to care  
Bianca patted the bed closest to her. “Mine.” 

They showered. Separately. Another awkward moment. Janet went first, and came out wearing a baggy shirt. She slipped into bed as Bianca took her turn in the bathroom. Janet would have loved to snuggle into Bianca to go to sleep but she pushed the thought away. They both usually slept without nightwear but Bianca too, came out wearing a baggy shirt. 

She drew the curtains, looked across at Janet, and seeing that she was already asleep, turned out the light and sank into her bed. Sleep wouldn’t come. Her mind was too full of the events of the past two days. Should she take a chance that they could work things out? “No, I can’t.” What if nothing really changed, she would have to go through all that heartache again. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to force the thoughts out, but the pain of the breakup was crushing. After an hour or so, she finally fell into a fitful sleep.

Janet, drained and exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the previous day, was still asleep when Bianca woke just before 5 o’clock. She crept over and moved the curtain enough to peek outside. In the half-light of dawn, the beacons marking the channel into the harbour, were still winking faintly - red, green, red, green - casting a shimmering reflection in the ocean. It was so strange that the sun would not soon appear on the ocean’s horizon. Bianca would have liked to go out on the balcony and soak up the beauty of the morning, but she didn’t want to wake Janet. It was too early to be up, so she sat on the bed watching Janet as she slept. How easy it would be to slip in beside her, feel her warm and close. Not yet! Last night’s indecision was swept away, she couldn’t take the chance of going back to being an afterthought (if any thought at all). Change wouldn’t be easy for Janet, the big shot prosecutor, commissioner, NCC investigator, so used to charging ahead regardless. She wondered if the good intentions of Janet’s awakening, could be sustained when they returned to their hectic lives. Her resolve strengthened, she again thought, “I can’t go back there, not yet.” She crossed to the table, picked up her laptop, got back into bed, and went to Google for information on Geraldton. Pictures of the HMAS Sydney II Memorial caught her eye, it looked amazing, perhaps they could check it out later.

Janet stirred, stretched sensuously. “Good morning Bibi.”  
“Bibi!! What makes you think you get to call me Bibi?” Bianca feigned shocked indignation.  
“I confess it was a pretty obvious attempt to claim you as family.” Janet propped herself up on one elbow. “Do you mind?” A long pause.  
“No, I don’t think I do.” There it was! The smallest softening in Bianca’s eyes. Janet dared to hope.

“What are you doing with your nose in that computer?”  
“Checking out things in Geraldton. Have you been to the HMAS Sydney Memorial?”  
“No, I haven’t. I’ve heard It’s a bit overwhelming, want to check it out?”  
“Yep. Let’s get breakfast, then we can decide what to do with the day. Are you going to see Graham?”  
“No, there’s no reason to. He’s out of my life.”  
“That’s very good to hear.” There was no mistaking Bianca’s relief, reminding Janet of the night Graham had arrived, uninvited, and thrown the insult about being surprised they weren’t sick of the sight of each other. She sat up, swung her legs over the edge of the bed, pushing her hair back from her face as she looked intently at Bianca.  
“That night Graham turned up uninvited, I should have called him out on his insult, and told him to show you respect. He knew well enough that we were together. Not only did I let him get away with it, but then invited him to stay. What was I thinking?”  
“Not of me, that’s for sure!” Ouch! Janet took a little while to recover.  
“I’ve hurt you Bianca” (not a moment for Bibi) “I love you, yet I’ve hurt you.” She hesitated, it still didn’t come easily, “ I…. I’m so sorry.” Bianca acknowledged the apology with a tiny nod, but didn’t say it was ok, because it wasn’t ok.

“Why did you agree to come with me?”  
“Thought you might need a body guard. You know, security.” Bianca wanted to escape the intensity of Janet’s struggle with her conscience. That comment only brought more intensity, immersing them both in the memory of their first night of passion. The night Bianca had accepted the security detail at Janet’s house.  
“Your very first night of keeping me safe, was…. ”  
“Satisfactory?” Bianca asked, with not quite a grin. That lightened the mood.  
“I would say a very high pass mark.” A mischievous raise of an eyebrow.  
That little half smile from Bianca again, but she didn’t keep it going. Ruefully, Janet remembered how long it had taken for her to respond to Bianca, and how patient Bianca had been, waiting for her. Now she must wait.

They had breakfast at ‘Dome’, a restaurant on the waterfront, a short walk from the motel. As they drank their tea and coffee, Janet picked up her phone.  
“I need to get back to work and to the kids. I’d better check if we can get flights tomorrow.”  
Bianca nodded agreement. They had chosen to sit outside on the verandah, and while Janet did the booking, Bianca sat back admiring another snapshot view of the Champion Bay panorama. To her left, beyond the town beaches, loomed the working port of Geraldton, whilst to her right, the sweeping view of the ocean was interrupted only by a groyne and the masts of yachts in the pleasure boat harbour. When the bookings were done Janet turned to Bianca.  
“We can sit together going back, you ok with that?” Bianca rolled her eyes, shot at look at Janet that said don’t be ridiculous and, with a smile that reached her eyes, went back to her tea.  
“Now, I’d better let Tony know, and ring Mum, to set up a time for Skype with the kids this afternoon.”

Breakfast finished, they decided to go for a walk along the foreshore path that wound its way around the bay. It was still early, and the breeze was light and cool. A warm day was forecast, so it would be good to get in a walk before the temperature rose. They set a brisk pace, enjoying the surroundings, and feeling a little more comfortable with each other. The path was a hive of activity, with cyclists, joggers, walkers, (with and without dogs), all out enjoying the cool of the morning.

An elderly lady approached, carrying a small dog, greeting them with a broad smile. “G’day. Lovely morning. Still nice and cool.”  
They smiled back and returned her greeting.  
“Little pooch too tired to make it?” Bianca asked as they drew level.  
“She’s getting old, and needs a carry now and then. Still likes her walk though.”  
“OK to pat her?” Bianca asked.  
“Oh yes, she’ll lick you to death.” Bianca made a fuss of the dog, and Janet joined in.  
“Aren’t you just the most gorgeous little girl?”  
“Yes, she’s my baby, even if she is getting on in years.”  
“What’s her name?” Janet enquired.  
“Diva. I’m Judy by the way.” The two women introduced themselves, and said how pleased they were to meet Judy.  
“Pleased to meet you too. Do you walk here every day?”  
“No, we’re visiting from Sydney.” Bianca replied.  
“Well, welcome to Geraldton, I hope you enjoy your stay.” Judy put Diva down. “Do you want to walk some more?” The little dog wagged her tail and pulled on the lead. “I think that’s a ‘yes’, lovely talking to you.”  
“You too,” they replied in unison, as Judy walked on with Diva.

“So, we both love dogs.” Janet said with a smile, as they resumed their brisk pace.  
“Seems we do.” Bianca smiled too. They walked on in silence, Janet thinking that there was so much they didn’t know about each other. In fact, they didn’t know much at all. Bianca was thinking that this was a glimpse of what could be, small things shared, getting to know each other, as Janet had asked. Oh, if Janet would just let down that protective wall! Bianca understood what a huge challenge it was going to be - for Janet, to learn to let her in, and, for herself, to hang in when things went backwards, as at times they almost certainly would.

Her hurting heart wouldn’t let her agree to another try at their relationship, yet here they were. Together. She gave a rueful smile, as she thought “God, I love this woman.”  
Janet caught the smile. “What?” she asked.  
“Nothing.” Bianca wasn’t going to share that right now.  
Janet thought, ‘Nothing? I don’t think so’, but let it go.

Domed picnic shelters were dotted along the foreshore park to their right and, a few steps to their left, was the beach, where early morning swimmers were already in the water. Children on the beach were playing ball and the thoughts of both women flew back to Fiji, with Liam and Emma racing tirelessly along the beach day after day.  
“Reminds me of the twins in Fiji,” Janet said.  
“Me, too.”  
That wonderful week in Fiji. Another challenge to Bianca’s resolve. They followed the path around to the boardwalk that ran along the front of the pleasure boat harbour. Half way along they paused to lean on the rail, admiring the boats moored to the floating pontoons.  
“I think I’ll have that one.” Bianca pointed to a large, sleek, ocean-going cruiser.  
“Not me!” Janet shuddered. “I could get seasick looking at them bobbing up and down in a moderate swell.”  
“You get seasick?”  
“Horribly.”  
“Well, we won’t be going on a cruise will we?”  
Janet’s eyes sparkled. “Were you going to ask me?”  
“Maybe.” Bianca pretended disappointment. “But you would have said no.”  
Janet kept the banter going. “I could probably manage the Manly ferry on a very still harbour.” Bianca grinned. “Very exciting!” It was so good to be feeling more at ease with each other. They continued to the end of the boardwalk, then retraced their steps to the motel.

Janet unlaced her sneakers. “These were good for the walk, too hot for the rest of the day.”  
“Yes, mine too, time for sandals.” Bianca took the jug of cold water from the fridge, poured them a glass each, handed one to Janet.  
“Thanks, I needed that. It’s getting warmer out there.”  
They re-filled their glasses and sat quietly, drinking slowly, cooling down after the exertion of their walk. Briefly touching Bianca’s arm, Janet asked, “Why did you come, Bibi?”  
In spite of her effort to keep its tight wrapping intact, Bianca’s heart gave a little skip. “You had a crisis. You asked me. I love you.”  
“Simple as that?” Janet curbed her natural instinct to take the lead in everything, waiting, hoping that Bianca had more to say.  
“Yes, as simple as that. But I can’t give you my heart again Janet.” Her eyes revealed the pain she still felt, and Janet’s heart sank a little.  
“Because I might trample it?”  
“Because I need to know you won’t.” No softening the message, just the stark truth. Janet had spent all her adult life seeking truth and justice, so this was no time to shy away from it.  
“Will you let me try to show you that you can trust me with your heart?“  
Bianca was still reluctant to make a commitment. “I need time Janet …”  
“Yes, of course you do. Here I go, being pushy again. Sorry.”

They sat in silence for a while, then Janet asked, “Do you think it might be a good idea to check out the Memorial before lunch?”  
“Yes, let’s do it. Did you bring a hat?”  
“Sure did, and sunscreen. Glad you thought of that, we’ll need them out there.” They found their hats, slapped on sunscreen, and on the way out picked up a city map from the reception desk. Janet drove and Bianca navigated the way to the Memorial.

The car parked and safely locked up, they strolled up the path to the Memorial, stopping first at the Wall of Remembrance. On the panels were engraved the names of the men lost, as well as photos of the Sydney in action, a group photo of the ship’s company, and a panel bearing the story of the tragedy. Lingering over the names and the story, both were deeply moved. As they read the inscription on the final panel of the Wall, “The Rest is Silence,” Janet said, with a break in her voice, “What a useless waste of all those lives, and we’ve learnt nothing.” She turned away from the wall. Bianca took her arm. “You ok?”  
Janet straightened up and assured Bianca that she was fine.

The nine metre high canopy of the Dome of Souls, formed by a stainless steel filigree of 645 seagulls, represented the souls lost on HMAS Sydney II. Filtered light flowing through the canopy, threw reflected shadows of the seagulls onto the circular podium, and onto the central altar, which was in the shape of a propeller. Above the altar, high in the canopy, was the eternal flame. Into the black granite of the centre circle of the podium was set the inscription, “In Memory of the Men Lost on HMAS Sydney II 19th November 1941. Lest We Forget.”

Next they looked at the Pool of Remembrance, with it’s central stainless steel seagull. The gull was fixed, on wingtip, to symbolise, on the pool’s symbolic seabed, the exact spot where the Sydney lies. Close to the Pool, was the bronze statue of The Waiting Woman, eyes shaded, looking out to sea, hoping in vain for the return of her loved one. Then there was the towering Stele, symbolising the bow of the Sydney.

The Memorial proved to be overwhelming, just as Janet had been told. Now, standing close to Bianca, looking out over the city and the ocean, she was struggling with her emotions and very close to tears. She gave a small involuntary shudder. Bianca took her arm again.  
“Ready to go now?” Janet nodded.  
“I’ll drive.” Bianca held out her hand for the car keys, which Janet placed there without argument. The action brought back to both of them the painful memory of Bianca returning Janet’s keys, saying it was too late for them. Was that really only the day before yesterday? It seemed so long ago.

Back in their motel room, Bianca again asked Janet if she were ok. She had seemed so emotional at the Memorial. As Janet turned to answer, Bianca was alarmed to see that she was crying. She put an arm around her, and led her to the bed, wondering what this was really about. For what seemed a long time they sat there, Bianca holding Janet close while she cried herself out of tears. At last, she raised her tear-stained face.  
“Sorry,” she said, embarrassed, and pulling away from Bianca’s comforting embrace. Bianca tightened her arms, wouldn’t let her go.  
“Janet, don’t give me sorry.” Her tone was gently chiding. “Just tell me what this is about.” Janet stiffened, tried again to pull away. Still Bianca would not let her go, holding her firmly by the shoulders. “You wanted us to get to know each other, so whatever this is, you need to share it. Can you do it? Do you want to do it?” She dropped her hands into her lap, as if to say, “stay, or go”. Her heart was racing. This was the moment that would decide if there were any point trying to build a relationship with Janet. Bianca hadn’t expected it to come so soon. How would Janet respond?

“I need to wash my face,” Janet said, going to the bathroom. Her aching eyes soothed by the cold water, she came back and sat close to Bianca.  
“Thanks for stopping me being an idiot again. I don’t want to close down. At least not on you.”  
Waiting for Janet, Bianca had been hardly able to breathe. Would the wall go up again? Now, she could hope. “So, what was it that upset you so much? Not just the Memorial?”  
“No, that was the trigger. When I looked into that Pool, with the symbolic marking of the spot where the ship is, I felt as if I were being pulled into the depths, immersed in the ocean with all those men.” Her voice faltered and her eyes filled again. “Sort of drowning in a sea of sadness. Does that make any sense?”  
“Yes, it does.” Bianca gently dabbed Janet’s eyes dry. “I felt some of that too, but obviously not as profoundly as you did.”  
“Then there was the lonely woman, her man forever lost. Ash forever lost. You lost to me, possibly forever. All the stuff of the past few years came crashing in on me, things I thought I had dealt with, things I know I haven’t.” Her eyes filled again. Bianca waited patiently for her to get herself together. “More recent things too, us, losing you. The most incredible woman loves me, and I stuffed it up. Ash, and confusion over you and her. Just too much sadness.”  
Bianca took her hand. “You’ll always love Ash, she’s a part of you. It doesn’t mean that loving again, diminishes your love for her. It will take time to sort it out.” She smoothed back the strands of hair from Janet’s face. “I love you Janet. I’ll help if you’ll let me.” Janet leaned into her, letting some of the tension ease out of her, filling Bianca with relief, as she felt her relax against her.  
No pulling away from their closeness now. “I think I’d like to leave it for a while, and have a shower.”  
“Yes, and while you do that, I’ll walk around the corner to the mall, and get us some lunch. Come on, time to make a move.” Bianca pulled Janet to her feet gave her a quick, chaste kiss, picked up her bag and went to get lunch.

Standing under the soft, warm flow of the shower, Janet tried to close her mind to everything but Bianca being here with her. This focus gradually calmed her jangled mind, letting in a quiet confidence that they could have a future together. Suddenly she saw, that their passion for each other really was secondary to what Bianca needed from her. Right now they were here, together, and talking. Strangely, it seemed to be enough for the moment. Reluctantly, she finished showering, got dried and dressed.

As she emerged from the bathroom, there was a tap, t-tap, tap at the door. Bianca had not thought to take the room key with her. Janet opened the door, greeting Bianca with a steady smile.  
“Lunch.” Bianca held up the bag she carried. Janet stayed in the doorway, leaning a little towards Bianca with her face raised.  
Bianca grinned, and planted a kiss. “Getting into the habit are you Ms King?”  
“Easily could,” Janet said softly, stepping back and ceremoniously ushering Bianca in. “What’s for lunch?”  
Bianca took two trays of mixed sandwiches from the bag. “Thought a light lunch was in order, since we indulged at breakfast, and tonight is dinner with Phil and Ruth.”  
“Good thinking. I’m not very hungry anyway.”  
Bianca anxiously scanned Janet’s face. “Are you feeling better?”  
“Yes, thanks. Nothing like a shower to soothe the nerves.”  
“Chamomile is good too.” Bianca teased.  
Janet screwed up her face. “No thanks. Seriously, I do feel better.” She took Bianca’s hand and held it to her cheek. “Thanks.” Bianca’s heart raced again.

There was just enough breeze to keep the flies at bay, as they sat on the balcony, enjoying the view, and sharing lunch in comfortable silence. Janet pushed aside her unfinished tray.“Can’t manage any more. How about you?”  
Bianca sat back. “Nope, I’ve had enough too. Time for tea. You’ll have coffee?”  
“Please.”  
Bianca made the hot drinks, and set them on the balcony table.  
“Aren’t we just the picture of domesticity?” Janet quipped.  
“Not just yet we’re not.”  
Janet looked up from her cup. “No, I suppose not.” She stared into the cup. “It was nice having you in the house, with the kids. I wonder how it would have turned out if you had moved in.”

Bianca thought of the night Janet had sprung on her, without discussion, an invitation to move in with her. “We’ll never know, now. You made the offer, but we needed to talk about it, consider the implications. Remember the night you started to tell me how, after Ash died, Emma would ask when you went out if you were going to heaven?”  
Janet nodded, as she recalled that night. “And Em came down wanting to cuddle on my lap because she couldn’t sleep.”  
“Yes. And if you could have seen the look she gave me as she snuggled into you.”  
Janet was shocked. “Really?”  
“Yes. It said ‘she’s MY mum and I don’t want you around her, so why don’t you go home?’ She still resents me, and it would have upset her even more to have me there full-time. If we had discussed it, I’m sure you’d have seen that Emma had to be your first consideration.” That stung Janet. Bianca was saying that she had been insensitive to Emma’s feelings. And she was right! How could she have thought that it would all be ok, when it would have made Emma miserable?

She looked so crestfallen, that Bianca reached across and took her hand.  
“Do you want to talk about this stuff now? It doesn’t have to be done all at once you know.”  
Janet took a deep breath. “You said you couldn’t keep up with me, and I’m beginning to see why. I have this way of charging ahead regardless, leaving people hurt in my wake.”  
“True, but don’t change too much. God knows, there’s not enough passion for good. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”  
Janet was thoughtful for a few moments. “You said something like that once before.”  
“Yes, when you thought you had lost your connection with Pearl.”  
Janet managed a smile. “I’m so glad that worked out in the end.”  
“So am I. It’s great to see Pearl so happy.” Bianca wondered if she should leave it at that, but it seemed right to continue. “I was wrong the night I said you should tell Graham how he was hurting you. I couldn’t bear to see the pain he was causing you. I was trying to help, but I can see that it would have made things worse. I upset you, I’m sorry.”  
“No, it was my fault. Instead of tearing into you, I should have talked to you, explained more about Graham.” She traced a line around Bianca’s cheek, hovering lightly over her lips. “I really have trampled your feelings. No wonder you gave up on me.” The softness Janet had been hoping for was deep in Bianca’s eyes. “It doesn’t look as if I’ve given up on you now, does it? It’s getting warm out here, let’s go back inside.”

Janet stretched out on her bed and closed her eyes. She was annoyed with herself for having been so self-centred, but at the same time, she felt a kind of restrained elation in Bianca’s continued love and support. Even though she hadn’t committed to try again with their relationship, here she was, in the process of doing just that. Well, at least that seemed to be what was going on.

Bianca moved a chair closer to Janet, marvelling that this stunning woman wanted her so desperately. She went to speak, but saw that Janet had drifted into sleep. She sat quietly, content to watch Janet as she slept. Who would have thought a visit to a memorial would be the catalyst for what was happening between them? What exactly was it that was happening? At last, Bianca was daring to hope that it was something that was going to last a very long time.

An hour passed, and it was almost time for Janet to Skype with the twins. Bianca bent close and whispered, "Time to wake up Janet.”  
“How long have I slept?” Janet locked her hands under Bianca’s ponytail, keeping her face close to her own.  
“About an hour. It’s nearly time to Skype the kids.” Janet drew Bianca into a long, slow kiss. As she returned the kiss, head spinning, desire rising, fear suddenly gripped her. She pulled back, the fear replacing the softness that had been in her eyes. “I can’t go there. I’m sorry ….”  
Janet put her fingers gently to Bianca’s lips, “I know. That was unfair. We don’t go there until it’s right for you. If ever.”

Janet set up the Skype with Robyn, and caught up with all the news from Emma and Liam. They were both very excited that she would be home tomorrow.  
“Where’s Bibi?” Liam asked.  
“She’s right here.” Janet motioned Bianca to come talk to the twins.  
“I need to go to the toilet,” Emma chipped in and took off. An obvious ruse to avoid Bianca. “Hi Liam, how’s everything going?”  
“Great Bibi, but I’ll be glad to have Mum home tomorrow. Are you coming over?”  
“Not tomorrow, but we’ll catch up soon. I’ll put Mum back on now. Love you mate.”  
“Love you too.”  
“Hope you’re behaving for Nana.” Liam assured Janet that he was and, of course, now that Bibi had gone, Emma was back.  
“Yes Mum, we’re doing what Nana says. Aren’t we Nana?”  
“Yes, you’re both being very good.”  
Janet threw them kisses as always, and with the usual ‘love you, love you,’ finished the call.

She looked ruefully at Bianca. “No mistaking Em’s feelings.”  
“We already knew that. She sees me as a rival for your affection, but that can change, especially now that I’m not around much.”  
“I don’t see that as a good thing.”  
“I’m sure Em will though. Want to go for a walk? We could go the other way on the path, towards the main harbour.”  
“Yep, fresh air and exercise!”  
“The breeze is well and truly in, I think I’ll wear a cap. Just as well I brought one.”  
“This place is known for being windy. Cap is a good idea.”  
They put on sneakers again, picked up their caps, slapped on more sunscreen, and made their way out of the motel, around the water playground, to the foreshore path.

After about three hundred metres, they came to the breakwater that formed the northern side of the main port. Beyond the breakwater were the moorings for the Port’s three tugs. Two of the tugs were heading out to bring a ship into port. One was nearly to the end of the breakwater, another just pulling away from its mooring. The two watched as the tugs moved out of the harbour to the end of the shipping channel markers, then continued their walk along the path.  
The end of the path opened out into an area where there were mounted telescopes, a viewing platform and a covered barbecue area. They climbed the steps to the platform and watched the tugs guiding the ship in through the channel, leaning on the rail, not quite shoulder to shoulder. After reading the information plaques about the history of the port, and taking turns looking through the telescopes, they walked leisurely back to the motel. Enough time to relax with a cold drink, before getting ready for dinner with Phil and Ruth. 

Janet poured them a glass of cold water each, which they took out on to the balcony. The ship was almost in the middle of the harbour, expertly guided by a tug at the bow and one at the stern. The tugs, tiny in comparison to the ship, gradually nudged the big vessel alongside the wharf, and once it was securely in the berth, disengaged and headed back to their moorings. Bianca was impressed. “Pretty damn good, manoeuvring in such a small harbour, compared to Sydney.”  
Janet agreed. “Lot of skill. Not a job for me, of course.”  
“Hardly, when you get seasick watching the waves.”  
Janet grimaced at the thought. “Thanks for coming. Are you glad you did?”  
“Dunno. You can be a pain in the neck.” A pretend frown, then a smile. “I’m glad.”

Janet was thoughtful. “The thing is, this is still all about me, when it should be about you. I want to be there for you.” Given Janet’s emotional turmoil of the past two days, three days really, Bianca was not prepared for her concern.  
“The problem I have is not about you being there for me. It’s about you wanting me to be there for you. At times you seem to forget about me. That’s when my heart hurts. When I want to be there for you, but you shut me out. Or even throw me away.”  
“I deserve that. I’ve been thoughtless too often.”  
Bianca drew Janet to her feet, pulling her by the hand. “Now, we should get ready for dinner.”  
Janet resisted. “Hang on, you don’t get away that easily Bibi. Have I got this right? We’re working on there being an ‘us’?”  
Bianca gave a little sigh of surrender. “Yes, it seems we are, aren’t we?” 

Back inside, Janet put her arms around Bianca. A quick hug, and Bianca drew away.  
“We really do need to get ready. I’m first in the shower.”  
“Is that so?”  
“Yep.” With a cheeky grin Bianca grabbed her gear and claimed the bathroom.  
She emerged, all damp and alluring, wearing underwear and t shirt.  
Janet audibly caught her breath, wishing those long legs were wrapped around her.  
“What?” Bianca had heard the little gasp.  
“You know very well what.” Janet replied huskily.  
Bianca chided, “Patience, woman!” And with mock severity, “Now, go! Have a cold shower.”  
“I might just have to do that.” Janet gave her a sultry look, smiled and disappeared into the bathroom.

By the time Janet had finished showering, Bianca was changed and out on the balcony. Janet dressed quickly and joined her. “Right to go?”  
Bianca nodded. “Nice timing, they should be here any minute.”  
As they got to the motel steps, Phil and Ruth pulled into a parking space right in front of them. Janet introduced Bianca as they got into the car, then Phil drove the short distance to the restaurant. Once seated, they decided on red wine, except for Bianca, who ordered dry ginger ale, sticking to her decision to keep a clear head. Phil enquired after Graham, asking if there had been any change that day.  
“I didn’t see him today.” Phil looked puzzled. “My father is not a nice person.” Phil hesitated, not quite knowing what to say.  
Ruth was not as reluctant. “No, he isn’t Janet. He’s here trying to convince us to invest in some scheme he’s involved in. We’ve already told him we’re not interested.”  
Janet wasn’t surprised. “Yes, he’s always pursuing some agenda of his own, usually to the detriment of someone else.” She looked into her wine. How to explain her epiphany at the hospital? Bianca had an almost uncontrollable urge to place a comforting hand on Janet’s, but managed to resist. There was an awkward little silence, relieved by the appearance of the waitress to take their order.

They ordered a variety of dishes to share. Phil poured the wine, they all clinked glasses and said cheers.  
“Are you staying for a while?” Phil asked.  
“No, we’re going back home tomorrow.” Janet glanced at Bianca, hoping to be rescued from the need to elaborate.  
Bianca obliged, saying to Ruth: “We’ve enjoyed looking around the city and have walked both ways along the foreshore path. Nice development of the public space. Could almost have gone for a swim this morning.”  
“I’m glad you like the foreshore, it’s turned out pretty well. The railway line used to run in front of your motel and there was a granite rock seawall right along there to prevent inundation.”  
“So what has changed to take away the threat of flooding?”  
Phil chimed in. “All the groynes along the bay are supposed to work as prevention. I hope the experts really are experts.” They chatted away over the meal, taking in the brilliant sunset, the streaky clouds changing from rich gold to bright pink as the sun dropped over the ocean and disappeared below the horizon. Janet joined the conversation.  
“It’s so different for us to see the sun setting over the ocean, instead of rising there.”  
“Hadn’t thought of that. It would seem a bit weird to you.” Ruth replied.

Phil was wondering about Janet and Bianca. When Janet had said Bianca was coming, he had thought that she was Janet’s new partner. Janet then asked for twin share, and he assumed he had it wrong. Now he was confused. One minute they seemed very close, the next not so much. None of his business but he had hoped that Janet had finally moved on after losing Ash, and found someone else.

“Are we all finished? Ready to go?” Janet asked.  
Bianca agreed. “Yes, we don’t need to be up late, with an early flight in the morning.”  
Phil insisted on taking care of the bill, and as they left the restaurant he took Janet’s arm. “Janet you’ll need to think what to do about Graham. You’re down as next of kin and he’ll either recover or a decision will have to be made about his life support.’” 

Janet was deflated. “I don’t want to be involved with him at all, but I know you’re right. We’re still going home in the morning.” Her face was drained of colour and Phil knew how awful all this was for her. Unlike his cousin, he was a kind, compassionate man.  
“Would you like me to keep you informed, so you don’t have to deal with the hospital just yet?” he offered. “I’m down as his closest relative available here.”  
“Yes, thanks, that would be great if you don’t mind.”  
“Not at all. I’d be glad to. It shouldn’t be an issue for a while yet.”

Bianca and Ruth had gone ahead to the car, and when Janet and Phil caught up, Bianca was dismayed at Janet’s stricken face. In the back of the car, she held tight to Bianca’s hand, as if she would never let it go. Disconcerted, Bianca still managed to chat with Ruth, but Janet was tense and quiet. Back at the motel, they thanked Phil and Ruth, Janet saying that she would keep in touch. Phil assured her again that he would keep her informed of Graham’s condition.

Bianca sat on her bed. “What’s happened?” Janet got a glass of water and joined her.  
“Phil was saying how a decision will have to be made about Graham before too long and it will be up to me, because I’m next of kin. I know that of course, but I’ve been putting everything to do with Graham out of my mind.”  
“Do you think you should stay longer?”  
Janet leaned against her. “No. I want to get back to the kids. I’ll deal with this when the time comes.” Her face was still strained and white as she looked up at Bianca. “I’m so glad you came Bibi. This would be so much worse without you.”

Bianca’s heart melted. Softly she kissed Janet’s upturned face. Temples, eyes, and then a gentle kiss on the lips. But it wasn’t enough, the gentle kiss quickly became deep and searching. Staying away from wine hadn’t worked…..  
Janet gave a strangled little gasp. “No, Bibi, not now.”  
Bianca was confused. “No?!”  
Janet stroked her cheek. “No. This is not the right time. Do you feel you’re absolutely safe?” Sheepishly, Bianca slightly shook her head.  
“When you do. Not before.” Just a nod from Bianca and that endearing half smile again.  
Janet gave a teasing grin. “I think it’s your turn for the cold shower.”  
Bianca could hardly believe it. Was this really Janet King? The Janet she had walked away from just three days ago? “No shower. Time for chamomile.”

Bianca was glad that she’d brought a variety of herbal teas. “Will you join me?”  
Janet wrinkled her nose. “I only drink herbal when I’m pregnant.”  
Another thing Bianca didn’t know about Janet.  
She grinned. “I hope you’re not planning that with me!”  
Janet laughed. “Never doing that again, you are quite safe.”  
Bianca tried again. “Was chamomile amongst your herbals?”  
“Of course, and I didn’t really mind it. Is there a trade-off here?”  
“Nope. You just get to join me for tea.” Whilst they were teasing, Bianca had made two cups. “Your tea awaits.” She made an extravagant gesture inviting Janet to take the cup.  
Shaking her head, Janet picked it up. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

They took their tea out on to the balcony and sat admiring the night view of the ocean and the harbour. The red and green channel lights still winking away, casting a reflection in the water once again. Janet stared out to sea, running her finger around the rim of the cup. Bianca was sipping her tea. “Come on, you’ve already said it’s not that bad. Drink up.”  
“Oh all right, just to please you. I hope you realise I wouldn't do this for just anyone!”  
Bianca was amused. “Honoured, I’m sure.”  
Janet smiled, her eyes sparkling. “But don’t think you’ve converted me from coffee.”

They sat quietly, enjoying the tea. Bianca was relieved that Janet had cooled things down. She would have regretted being swept away in the heat of the moment. If they were to be together, it had to be a truly equal relationship of putting each other first. Could that ever be?

And Janet. Oh, how she had wanted to finish what Bianca had started, but she had pulled back. For Bianca. How different from her usual focus on how to get what she wanted, letting nothing get in the way. This was all about what was best for Bianca. Smart, funny, loyal Bianca, who didn’t trust her. What an awakening this was - all Janet could think about was Bianca and sharing life with her.  
Bianca quietly broke into her musings “You’re very deep in thought. Where are you Janet?”  
“With you, doesn’t matter where.” The intensity of emotion in those compelling blue eyes, brought a flush to Bianca’s cheeks. And not only her cheeks.  
“Stop it! Behave.”  
“You asked.”  
“Yeah, I did. Right now it’s time for us to get some sleep.”  
“It is. I’ll be so glad to get home to the kids.” 

The events of the day had left them both exhausted and with another quick hug they said goodnight and were soon asleep. Janet woke at three o’clock, so much going on in her mind that she couldn’t get back to sleep. Would they work out their relationship? How long would it take for Bianca to trust her? Would she ever trust her? From now on she would be very, very mindful of Bianca’s feelings. Never again would she take her love for granted. At five she finally dozed off, only to be woken again at six by the alarm on her phone, set to be sure they made their eight o’clock flight..

Bianca was already awake when the alarm sounded and got out of bed right away. Janet had turned over and pulled the sheet over her head. Bianca turned the sheet back.  
“How did you sleep?”  
“Not long enough. You go first in the shower.”  
“You need to get up Janet. Make some coffee while I shower.”  
“Yes, Mum.” With a tired grin, she got up and dutifully made coffee.  
Bianca had tea while Janet showered.

They arrived at the airport with plenty of time to return the hire car and check in their luggage. The flight to Perth was only an hour, but they again had more than two hours wait for the Sydney flight. They had a snack while they waited, Janet chatting about getting home to the twins and back to work. Bianca mostly listening, as she so often did. Aware that she was doing all the talking, Janet sat back, giving Bianca that ‘come to bed’ look, the one that made Bianca so hot and bothered. She was beginning to feel that she had to get away from this almost constant state of arousal. Maybe she would go to Cairns for a while.

During the flight to Sydney, Janet dozed on and off, the disturbed night catching up with her. Bianca mulled over whether or not to spend some time in Cairns, with her brother Ryan.  
Older than Bianca by three years, Ryan had lived in Cairns for fifteen years and, before Janet turned up on her doorstep, Bianca had been thinking she might visit him. She still wasn’t sure she wanted to spend a lot of time with Janet so soon after walking away. Getting right away seemed to be a good idea. Give Janet space too. Would she embrace her new-found intentions, or slip back into expecting everyone, including Bianca, to dance to her tune? The closer they got to home, the more uneasy Bianca became. She had said she would help Janet sort out her mixed up emotions, but now she was thinking that she would have to take some time for herself first.

When they were about fifteen minutes out of Sydney, Janet turned to Bianca. That look again. Bianca took a deep breath. “I’m going to spend some time in Cairns with Ryan.  
“Ah. You wanted to get away from me.”  
“Pretty much.”  
“And now?”  
“Now, I do need to go. When I’m around you, when you look at me like that, all I can think about is taking you to bed. There has to be a lot more to us than just fantastic sex.”

Janet felt weak at the thought of Bianca sharing her bed again, but she had a sinking feeling in her stomach. Was she backing out? Janet had been feeling confident that once they were home, Bianca would be around enough that they would eventually work things out. Now she was going to put distance between them. They were nearly home and Bianca would soon be gone. When was she planning to leave? How long would she be away? Did she still want their relationship? Would she decide it was too big a risk after all? Disappointment, doubt, panic, and for once Janet had the sense to hold her tongue.

Bianca was scrambled up inside too. Taking off to Cairns, after having said she would be there for Janet, went against the grain. But she didn’t trust herself to keep to her resolve when they were close to each other. Janet’s intentions, sincere as they were, also needed to be tested. 

At the airport, there was a delay with the baggage. Here they were, feeling awkward with each other again, not knowing what to say. Janet attempted conversation about getting home to the twins, but it petered out. She tried again. “Liam will want to see you before you go Bianca. Would you come over tomorrow for a while? I’ll have to be back at work the next day.” Bianca knew it was true - Liam would miss her. She would miss him too. And she had told him that they would catch up soon. It wouldn’t be fair to go away without saying goodbye. “I want to see him too, so yes, I’ll come over for a while after lunch.”

The baggage delay sorted, they collected their luggage, got a taxi and headed for Janet’s place. In the congested street, the taxi double parked outside the house. Janet gathered her luggage, and with “Thanks for all this. See you tomorrow,” was quickly at her front door, turned and gave Bianca a wave. As the taxi pulled away, Bianca watched the door open and the twins hurtle into Janet’s arms. Oh, how her heart hurt, and how much she wanted to be part of that family. 

Soon she was back in her own living room, but felt none of the comfort of home. Without even unpacking, she curled up on the lounge, and wept. The past few days with Janet had taken a toll and the sooner she could get away, the better. When she had called Ryan after the taxi dropped Janet at home, she hadn’t given him any details or dates, just asked if it would be ok to come to stay for a while. Pulling herself together, she rang him again, and arranged to go the day after tomorrow, if she could get on a flight. She was able to book a morning flight and then, leaving her luggage where she had dropped it, fell into bed and into the sleep of exhaustion.

When Bianca arrived at Janet’s the next afternoon, it was into her arms that Liam hurtled at the opening of the door. It was wonderful to be hugging, to see his face light up as he pulled her inside. Emma was not as welcoming, but she did manage a little smile and “Hello, Bibi.” The visit went well enough, although the two women avoided any closeness. Liam monopolised Bianca, wanting to know when she was going, when she was coming back, begging her to play his latest computer game, and generally taking the tension out of the situation. When it was time to go, Bianca and Liam had one last hug, Emma said a restrained goodbye, and Janet walked Bianca to her car, which she had managed to park close by for once.  
“Will you let me know when you’re safely in Cairns?”  
“Of course I will.” Bianca was torn, but stuck with her decision. She put her hand lightly on Janet’s arm. “We both need some space, time to think, take a breath. You’re going to be back in the thick of things and it won’t be long before I am too. We’ll talk some more about us when I get back.” A glimmer of hope, but Janet wasn’t taking anything for granted. She nodded and managed a smile.  
“I’ll miss you. Travel safe.”  
“Thanks, I will.” Bianca gave her that heart skipping little half smile and drove away.


	2. Chapter 2

Watching Bianca drive away after saying goodbye, Janet had that sinking feeling in her stomach again. For the rest of the day she made a lot of fun with the twins, trying to overcome the fear of loss. That night she tossed and turned, sleeping and waking, dreaming of Bianca never coming back. In the morning, wrung out from lack of sleep, she struggled to get going, but somehow managed to get them all out the door on time. There was plenty to catch up on at work, yet still she found herself distracted, frequently checking her phone, waiting to hear from Bianca. At last, when it was almost time to go home, a message - ‘Safely at Ryan’s’. That was all. Janet wasn’t sure what more she had expected but she was wracked with disappointment. 

In the days that followed she got back into the swing of things at work, and difficult as it was, had to keep her mind on the job. Never before had she found it so hard to immerse herself in the task at hand. The ever-practical, ever work-consumed Janet King, found herself thinking that she should take some leave and follow Bianca to Cairns. No sooner a thought than dismissed as ridiculous, but a thought nonetheless. Night-time was the worst. Sleep was elusive, her mind filled with thoughts of Bianca next to her - longing to hold her, feel the beating of her heart - then the irrational dread of never having her there again would almost suffocate her. Fear of going through the devastation of losing Ash all over again would grip her. She wondered how much more of this she could bear and still function. Come back soon Bianca. I want to be with you, and I think you want to be with me. How are you coping? Is it helping to be away from me? 

Friday came and no further word from Bianca. What if she really did decide not to come back? Try as she might, to convince herself that she was being irrational, Janet felt sick thinking about the possibility. She kept telling herself that Bianca had said they would talk when she came back, so of course she was coming back.

Bianca hadn’t visited Ryan as often as she would have liked. Over the years she had always seemed to have other commitments when holidays came around, and had managed only a few extended long weekends with him. They phoned each other quite often and kept in touch through social media. His wife, Helen, had died after a three year battle with breast cancer. A year or so after her death, Ryan took a job in Cairns, and had been there ever since. Bianca had hoped that he might eventually find someone else, but he had gradually come to terms with his loss, and now said he was doing well enough with the single life.

Sitting on the edge of the pool, with his legs dangling in the water, he watched his younger sister knocking herself out doing laps. She had sounded so tense when she rang, that he had taken two days of his annual leave, to give her a chance to talk if she needed to. Finally she did a leisurely breast-stroke lap and floated over to him. He patted her on the head. “Do you reckon you’ve done enough yet?” His grin belied his concern.  
“Reckon I have.” She got out, wrapped a towel around her shoulders, picked up her water bottle, and sat next to him. “I need to get my breath back.”  
“I should think so. Are you trying to drown yourself?”  
“Just working out.”  
“Geez BG, there’s working out, and there’s killing yourself.” As a teenager, Bianca had been a big fan of the Bee Gees, and with her initials it didn’t take long for her to become BG. Ryan was the only one who sometimes still called her that. “When you get your breath back, let’s have a cold drink at the cafe.”

After they had showered and dressed they sat at a table outside the pool cafe with their iced tea and coffee. “So what’s going on? Why are you killing yourself in the pool?” Bianca had not yet told Ryan of the break-up with Janet. Now, under his intense gaze, she would have to explain. Not so easy, given how conflicted she was still feeling since their time together in Geraldton. When she didn’t answer Ryan tried again. “Is it the hot-shot lawyer you told me you were involved with? Has a couple of kids. Twins I seem to recall.” 

Bianca grinned at the description. “You know it’s Janet King you shit-stirrer. Yes, she has twins, Liam and Emma. And yes, it is about Janet. I wanted to be there for her, but too often it seemed as if I didn’t exist. She always has a cause that takes her whole attention. A one-sided relationship isn’t enough.”  
“But what about the kids? How is this affecting them?”  
“Liam will be missing me. He’s a great kid and loves having me around. Emma thinks I want to take Janet away from her, so she will be glad I’m gone.” She gazed out over the pool.  
Ryan waited for her to continue. They had been close growing up and Bianca had always been the steady, calm one, except for a couple of teenage years when she was hard to get along with and threw a few tantrums. She had been there for him as much as she could all through Helen’s illness, sharing his grief when she died, being his shoulder to cry on. Now it looked like she needed a shoulder. 

“I’m not all that good with kids. Haven’t had much experience. But I do love those two and hope we can work it out. I know it sounds selfish, maybe it is, but in the long run it wouldn’t be good for the kids if it’s not good for me.”  
“I guess that’s true, but you need to get it sorted, and quickly. It’s not fair to have kids caught up in the mess.”  
“I know that and I feel so bad about them. But there were too many times that I tried to talk to Janet and she brushed me off, or had something more important to discuss. Then, when eventually she wanted to talk, I had already decided it was too late for me and I gave her back her keys.” 

“Pretty drastic action Kiddo. But I don’t understand how you ended up in Geraldton with her.”  
Bianca recounted the events of the night Janet turned up at her place - the injury to Graham and Janet’s decision to go to Geraldton. “When she asked me to go with her, how could I say no?”  
Ryan was quick to give his opinion. “From what you have just said, I would say you could quite easily have said no! You must be totally struck on her to make such a decision.” Pain flickered across Bianca’s face and Ryan was immediately contrite. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. You really have fallen hard for her haven’t you?”  
Bianca nodded. “I need to be away from her for a while to sort myself out. She wants to try to mend things, but I’m not quite ready to deal with it.” The thought of how hard it was to be close to Janet and not rush her off to bed made her heart race and her legs weak. It crossed her mind as she looked at the pool, that she needed a cold dip, just as she’d told Janet to take a cold shower…  
Ryan pushed away his glass. “Come on little sister, time to go home.” 

The view from Ryan’s back verandah was magnificent. Rainforest coated hills coming down to meet the coastline, glimpses of the azure waters of the Great Barrier Reef. Bianca had rustled up a salad for lunch and they sat in comfortable silence, enjoying the food and the view. When they had finished the meal, Ryan broke the silence.  
“How long are you going to stay? I love having you, but you can’t put it off forever.”  
“No, I can’t. I’d like to stay a few more days, try to settle things in my mind. Haven’t had much success so far.”  
“What if I take you rafting tomorrow? Have to go back to work on Thursday.”  
“Oooh, yes. I’d love that. How many times have we been going to do it, and something has gotten in the way?”  
“Ok. I’d better book straight away.” Booking done, the rafting was all set.

“What else are you going to do?”  
“Want to go snorkelling again. It must be five years since that other time I did it, so I’m going to have another look at the Reef. Otherwise, run a bit, do laps in the pool. Maybe go through your DVDs.” She grinned and made a face at him. “Might find something worth watching.” They often teased each other about their different tastes in movies and music. Different in a lot of ways, yet they did have quite a few favourites in common.  
“Smart arse! You know I’ve got stuff that you like. One Night Only is still there.”  
“Oh, great. I haven’t seen it in years. I’ll dig it out when you’re back at work.”

Next day they were off early to go rafting and what an experience it was. Through the most amazingly beautiful rain forest, with cliffs 100 metres high in some places. Crazy bumping down the rapids, great boulders looming on either side. Several people fell into the water from some of the other rafts, but in Bianca’s raft they all managed to hang on. In quiet parts of the river the guide wedged the raft between rocks. Everyone jumped from the back of the raft, diving under it and popping up at the front, then floating down the river a bit. Some people climbed the huge boulders and, amid shrieks of delight, and some of fear, jumped from them into the river. 

When they stopped for a BBQ lunch on the river bank, Ryan’s friend Jake joined them. He was obviously interested in Bianca, and after a lot of chit-chat, asked if she would have a drink with him the following evening. She gave him a wide smile and said, “I’ll have to check with my partner.” Quickly he backed off, red-faced even through his tan. He shot a “you could have told me” look at Ryan, who suppressed a grin. “Don’t think she’s interested, mate.” 

Emotion overwhelmed Bianca. My partner. But is she? Do I really want her to be? Does she want to be? Can we make it work? She walked away from the group back to the river’s edge, concentrating on how exhilarating the ride had been. For now, she had to push away thoughts of Janet. 

Lunch finished, it was time to get back into the rafts. Another 10 kms down the river, and the ride was over. The rafts were loaded onto the trailers, and they all got back on the buses for the return trip to Cairns. On the way they stopped at a pub in Tully to check out the photos of the trip, and have a drink. Then back to Cairns.

Home at Ryan’s, it was showers, and a cold drink on the back verandah. Now Bianca was feeling tired, and hoping she might sleep well after the disturbed nights of the past few days.  
“That was a most fantastic day big brother, thanks. I think a light snack and an early night for me.”  
“Me too. It was a great day. Glad you had a good time. Were you bothered by Jake?”  
“No, not by him. Only that it made me think too much about Janet.”

She did sleep well that night, woke up early and went for a run along the Esplanade. People were out and about enjoying a stroll in the parkland, jogging along the foreshore paths, dare-devil kids on the skate park. Although the area was much more extensive, it reminded her of the walks with Janet in Geraldton. And there were cruising yachts in the Marlin Marina to remind her that Janet got sea-sick. Janet, Janet, Janet. Always in her head and in her heart. Seemed being far away from her wasn’t going to help at all. 

Ryan was off to work soon after breakfast. “I’ll take Peggy Scoo (his nickname for his Preggio motor scooter), and leave you the car.”  
“Peggy Scoo! Buddy Holly. You nutty brother - still love that 50s and 60s music. Got some of it on my phone. I can just as easily use the scooter.”  
“No you won’t. Take the car.”  
“Ok, ok! Thanks.”

Once the kitchen was cleaned up, she went through the DVDs and found ‘One Night Only’, as well as ‘The Castle’ and ‘Priscilla Queen of the Desert’. Somehow she didn’t feel like watching any of it, and thought maybe she and Ryan could watch ‘Priscilla’ after dinner. They had watched it several times and always ended up rolling around with laughter. Not ‘The Castle’. She didn’t need to watch any lawyers in action, even in a comedy. 

So, what to do today? First up better book the snorkelling for tomorrow. That done, she decided to climb the Red Arrow track, which she had done several times on previous visits. It was a popular workout track with the locals, many of whom would jog round the circuit three or more times. She dug out a pair of sturdy joggers she had left at Ryan’s years ago and tossed them in the back of the car. Near the entrance to the track she found a parking spot, changed into her joggers and headed up the track. 

It was a short, steep climb to the top where there were two lookouts. From the first lookout there were views of the airport, and the northern coast all the way to Double Island. Another short climb and she was at the second lookout with views of the mangroves, the mouth of the Barron River, and a great view out to Green Island. On the way around the circuit track, there were glimpses through the trees of the city and the Esplanade. Bianca decided against running and did the circuit three more times at a brisk pace. All done with the track, she went through the Botanic Gardens to the Cafe for an iced tea. She resisted the temptation of their famous waffles, finished her tea, and went home, needing to shower after the exertion in the warm weather. Refreshed, she made a sandwich and settled in to watch the Bee Gees.

Ryan arrived home from work to find his sister busy in the kitchen preparing dinner. “Wow! When did you become domesticated BG?”  
“Ha! You know very well that I can cook. And I do, quite often. Anyway, it’s mild beef curry and steamed rice. Very simple.”  
“I’m impressed. Do you want to move in?” Bianca winced and looked disconcerted. Ryan was puzzled. “What did I say?”  
“It’s ok, it’s not you. Janet asked me to move in too. But without any discussion or taking into account that Emma resents me.”  
“Oh, I see. Another thing for you to sort out.”

They enjoyed dinner out on the verandah, where they seemed to have all their meals. It was so pleasant, at least while the weather stayed reasonable. After dinner they did watch ‘Priscilla’, and Ryan was so happy to hear Bianca laughing uncontrollably, enjoying it as much as they always had. When the movie was over, they chatted for a while then went to bed. Each had an early start in the morning.

As Bianca walked from the car park towards the boat she was surprised by a voice in her ear.  
“We meet again Ryan’s sister.” She turned to find Jake grinning at her.  
“Hi Jake. Are you going on the boat too?”  
“Indeed I am.” He stopped grinning. “And hey, sorry about putting my foot in it the other day. I shouldn’t have assumed you were available.”  
“That’s ok, no big deal.” She gave him a cheeky grin. “I suppose I should be flattered. And you weren’t to know I was with someone.”  
“Well, now that I do know, how about we have lunch together?’ He grinned again. “Or do you have to check first?”  
Bianca pulled a serious face. “Cheeky!” Then with a little smile and mock formality, “I would be delighted to join you for lunch.” 

Snorkelling over the Reef was a truly amazing experience, and Bianca found it every bit as awesome as she had five years ago. There were turtles, hundreds of fish and many varieties of coral. A clownfish in an anemone, and a dory fish, made her think of the twins and ‘Finding Nemo’. A big blue napoleon fish came up wanting to be touched, and there was even a wobbegong lazing around on the bottom. 

At lunch Bianca and Jake sat with a noisy, hilarious group. Jake proved to be very good company and Bianca enjoyed his wicked sense of humour. He was an experienced scuba diver and tried to talk her into learning to dive with the instructors on the boat. She assured him that she was quite happy to do some more snorkelling at the second location. 

That evening, she and Ryan went to the markets and she couldn’t resist buying a soft toy napoleon fish, just like the one she had touched. As she tucked it under her arm it occurred to her that Emma might like it, and the story of the snorkelling. What would Liam like? She asked Ryan for suggestions. “Cant go wrong with Lego. Has he got any?”  
“Lego. Of course, great idea. Yes he has got some. They both have. Janet encourages Liam to get him away from the computer games for a while.”  
They went to Kmart and Bianca chose a Nexo Knights Lego box for Liam 

When they got home she took out the napoleon toy, and with a wistful little smile said to Ryan, “Time to go home and get this sorted one way or the other.”  
He agreed. “Like I told you, work it out. Can’t have those kids messed up. If you love her so much you’re going to have to find out what you’re prepared to do to be with her. And what you are willing to accept from her.”  
“I do love her. She knows that I do. I can’t go back to a one-sided relationship, so we’ll have to see if she can really be an equal partner with me. She says she wants to be.”  
“Time to find out. I hope she sees what she has to lose.”  
“Spoken like a true big brother. Thanks for the support. Thanks for taking in your mixed up little sister and giving her a good time.”  
“The pleasure has been all mine. Glad to have you any time. Maybe next time you’ll bring them all too.” He couldn’t resist a very cheeky grin.  
“Now wouldn’t that be something?” Seemed the cheeky grin ran in the family. “I’ll be working hard to make that dream a reality.”  
“I hope your Janet will be working just as hard on it.”  
“i’ll go tomorrow if I can get on the plane.” No problem getting on the flight, better let Janet know.

Friday night, the twins in bed asleep and Janet was startled by the ring of her phone. ‘Bianca’ lit up the screen. She answered quickly. “Bianca. How’s it going? Are you ok?”  
“Yes I’m fine thanks. It’s been great. How are you doing?”  
“Missing you desperately.”  
“I know. We need to talk. I’m coming home tomorrow.”  
Janet’s heart soared. “You don’t know how glad I am to hear that.”  
“I think I probably do. What if I come over on Sunday?”  
“Oh please, yes. Come for dinner.”  
“I think lunch would be better. Maybe Robyn could have the twins for a few hours?”  
“Good thinking. I’ll check with her and let you know. Ring me when you get home.”  
“I will. We can see about dinner once the kids are back.”

Janet already had the door open before Bianca could ring the bell. The electricity between them took their breath away.  
“Come in. Please.” Janet managed a tight smile.  
“Thanks.” Bianca’s smile was also tentative.  
They stood looking at each other, feeling awkward yet again. Bianca put her bag on the side table, turned to Janet, pulled her in close and kissed her. And kissed her. Janet drew back, breathless.  
“I think you missed me too.” Bianca kissed her again, one hand in her hair the other delicately tracing a line around her ear, down to the curve of her breast. Janet pulled away a little.  
“I thought we agreed we weren’t doing this yet.”  
“You don’t want to?”  
“Of course I want to. You know it. Are you saying you have changed your mind?”  
“I can’t get you out of my mind. Didn’t help running off like that, so I might as well be here trying to find a way through this thing with you.”  
“And you think some time in the bedroom is the way to start?” Janet raised an eyebrow and gave her that look.  
“Keep looking at me like that and you can pretty much guarantee it.”  
Janet eased out of Bianca’s embrace. “I want to make love with you Bibi more than ever, but I want you to be sure about this.”

“I said I couldn’t give you my heart again. What a load of bullshit! As if I had suddenly been able to take it back! I thought I could wrap it up, protect it from you.” She pulled Janet back into her arms, but she pulled away again.  
Her voice was strained, tight with emotion, as she placed her hand on Bianca’s heart. “Then I will have to be very, very careful not to trample it.”  
Bianca dropped her hands to Janet’s waist, and said very quietly, “Yes you will, because no matter how much I love you, I can’t stay around if we aren’t equal partners.” 

She kissed Janet again, pulling her back in hard against her. “We need to get this out of the way, this chemistry between us.” She grinned. “Seems to me we need to deal with the lust so that we can talk about us, love and the future. You do still want to talk about us?”  
“As if you need to ask. If you’re sure this is where you want to start ……”

Janet propped on one elbow, kissed Bianca. The light lingering kiss of delight, passion all done.  
“Do you still think this was a good idea?” Janet was genuinely concerned, afraid that with the sexual tension now relieved Bianca might regret it.  
Bianca, still in the misty afterglow of fulfilment, pulled her down on top of her, running her hands gently over her, Janet’s head tucked into her shoulder. “It was a wonderful idea, but now we need to shower and do some talking.”  
“Shower. Together?” Janet rolled away and they both laughed, thinking of their awkwardness in the motel.  
“Mmmm, yes please.” Bianca got up, and pulled Janet up too. “And we haven’t even thought about lunch.”  
“Who needs lunch?”  
“I will. After we shower. You have got lunch?”  
Janet rolled her eyes. “Get into the shower.”  
“You too.“ 

They teased and giggled under the spray, not wanting to leave the aura of love-making. With one last playful splash and snuggle Bianca dragged herself away, stepped out and wrapped herself in a towel.  
“Come on, out you get. We have serious business.” Janet turned off the water, joined Bianca and planted a kiss on her wet shoulder. Bianca draped a towel around her using it to pull her close.  
“When will the twins be home?”  
“Just before dinner so we have time enough to talk.”  
“Lunch first.”  
“All you think about is your stomach.”  
“Er, no. I thought you might have noticed something else on my mind for the past hour or so!” She tousled Janet’s hair with the towel, letting it go so that it fell over her face and shoulders. “C’mon get dried. Time for lunch and talk.”

Lunch was prepared and shared, still in a bubble of intimacy that they didn’t want to leave. Meal finished, kitchen cleaned up, they stood looking at each other not knowing how to begin the discussion they must have. Bianca took Janet’s hand and kissed the palm. “What are we going to do about us Ms King?”  
“Find a way to make us permanent Inspector Grieve.”  
“Ah yes, to find that way.” Still holding Janet’s hand, now pensively kissing the fingertips.  
“We will find the way Bibi.” Janet murmured, squeezing the hand that was holding hers.  
“Am I going to be Bibi from now on?” Bianca teased, letting go of Janet’s hand.  
“Only in private. If you want to be.”  
“I wonder if the kids will be happy about it.”  
“They’ll be fine. Not as if I’ve never called you Bibi around them.”  
“Sooo, if I get Bianca from you here, it will mean I’m in trouble?”  
Janet leaned in and kissed her. “Don’t be daft!”  
“Daft!! Did you console yourself with British television while I was away?”  
“Haha. Daft is a very useful word, so stop being it and give me your thinking about us.”  
“Hard to be serious right now. Everything seems so perfect. It would be very easy to slip into a comfort zone, but there are things we need to sort.”  
“There are. And I did need consoling, but television, British or otherwise, was never going to cut it. I was beside myself with the dread of your not coming back. I could hardly get you out of my mind enough to function at work.”  
Bianca was completely taken aback. “You really thought I wouldn’t come back?!”  
“Silly, I know, but I did. My rational mind told me not to be ridiculous, but my stewed up stomach and panic dreams at night told me otherwise.”

This was a very different Janet from the one Bianca had walked away from only two weeks ago. Bianca put an arm around her shoulders. “How could you have tortured yourself like that when I’d said that we would talk when I got back? I’m sorry you were so upset. I was fooling myself that being away from you would help. Big mistake.”  
“Going to Cairns wasn’t a mistake. You needed to take care of you for a change. I’m not used to your putting yourself first, and it was a shock when you decided to go. Perhaps what I went through while you were gone, was some of what I’ve too often put you through.”

Bianca cupped Janet’s face in her hands, smoothing her temples and said softly, “That wasn’t my intention. I felt I needed space. I really didn’t set out to hurt you.”  
“Now you’re being daft again. I know you went to try to sort yourself out, not to punish me.” She gave Bianca a quick kiss and they moved to settle comfortably on the lounge.

They sat quietly for a few minutes, each waiting for the other to speak. Janet broke the silence. “I do want to be considerate of you. All the time. I know that sometimes I won’t be, and you’ll need to pull me up if I go back to my bulldozer ways. Depends if you can live with that.”  
“Your bulldozer I can handle. What I can’t handle is being shut out. We’ve talked about that, and I know you want to let me in. Might take some time for you to get used to that.”  
“I’m not so sure. A good thing about Cairns is that you were on my mind all the time, and I had to try to face what it would be like without you. Being without you, has taken over from being without Ash. I’m not torn now.” 

Bianca entwined their fingers. “Do you want to talk about Ash?”  
“Yes, if you’re ok with it.” There was a hint of uncertainty in her eyes and Bianca was quick to reassure her. “Of course it’s ok. I said I’d help but it sounds as if you’re getting there on your own.”  
Janet kissed her cheek. “I’ve made progress, but don’t you start planning your escape.”  
Bianca’s little half smile again. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Janet took a while to continue. “We were together a long time and Ash will always be part of me, but now it’s our time. We can’t waste it.”  
Bianca, choked up with emotion, moved to stretch out on the lounge, bringing Janet into her arms. Her voice was husky, “I want you to tell me about Ash, and… I want to hold you.”  
Janet snuggled closer. “When Ash and I first got together we were young and had the crazy, wild, attraction of youth. Couldn’t get enough of each other. The passion waned over those first few years, and I see now that it was my obsession with work.” She paused a few moments. “Ash did try to tell me she was missing the fire but, as usual, I was too busy diving headlong into one crusade after another. Then came the children. Exhaustion is the enemy of libido, and boy, were we exhausted!”

Bianca kissed the top of her head. “Did you get it sorted out?”  
“Not properly. The kids were still so young. Then Ash was gone.” A faltering breath as the pain surfaced again. Bianca held her closer. Janet tilted her head, so that she was looking deep into Bianca’s eyes. “We’re older and not as wild, but I didn’t expect to find such irresistible chemistry with anyone again.” Bianca waited, but Janet said no more about Ash, seemingly content to stay quietly in her arms. 

After what seemed a long time, Bianca brushed her hair with a light kiss. “It’s getting on towards time for the kids to come home, and there’s more we need to talk about.”  
Janet sighed. “Yes, there is. For a start, we will no doubt have disagreements. Maybe even a blazing row or two.”  
Bianca grinned. “Not too much of the blazing I hope. Well, not that kind of blazing anyway.”  
“We’re not supposed to be talking hot. This is the serious conversation.” Janet tried to sound chiding, failed hopelessly.  
“Irresistible chemistry. Very serious!” Bianca tried not to smirk, also failed hopelessly.  
“It’s amazing! Don’t know about serious.” Janet snuggled closer again.  
Bianca stroked her hair. “How are we going to get anywhere if all we can think about is sex?”

Suddenly Janet was serious. She sat up, a little away from Bianca, holding both her hands. “I’m not just thinking about sex Bibi. I’m thinking about how much I love you and want to be with you. I love our banter too, but this is about a future together.”  
“I know it is. Equal partners future. I love you too. We’ll have to wait a while for the permanent part.” A wicked grin. “But we can’t kid ourselves about the hot sex.”  
“No we can’t. We’ll have to try extra hard to make time for that.” Janet tried to keep a poker face, but couldn’t suppress a smile.

Bianca was thoughtful. They must talk about the children. This wasn’t just about whether she and Janet could make a go of their relationship. She frowned a little. Janet saw it and was immediately concerned. “What is it? Why do you frown?”  
“We have to talk about how all this is affecting the kids. Ryan got stuck into me. Told me to get it sorted, and quickly. That it isn’t fair to have them caught in the mess. He’s right of course, but Emma still resents me. I have some ideas about things to do with her as opportunities come up. I think she’ll be intrigued with what I brought back for her.”  
“I wondered what was in the big bag you dumped on the table!”  
“Something for each of them. Don’t curse me when you have to build Lego…”  
“Lego is fun for a little while. And it gets Liam away from the screen.”  
“I know you like to do that. Ryan suggested Lego. Must confess I’d been thinking computer game.” She paused, thinking that no matter what she and Janet decided to do, it wouldn’t be easy for the twins. 

Eventually she continued, “However this turns out for us, we must keep it as simple as possible for them. Even if I were ready, I think moving in would be a bad option.”  
Janet moved back close to her. “You aren’t ready yet, we both know that. We can talk about it later.” She settled back in Bianca’s arms. “Both the kids asked about you while you were away, which we’d expect from Liam. He’d have you here in a heartbeat.”  
Bianca nodded. “And Emma?”  
“I don’t think she minds your being around as much as she makes out. She asked what you would be doing in Cairns.”  
“That is a surprise. What did you tell her?”  
“I told her that you hadn’t seen your brother for quite a while, and wanted to spend some time with him. She wasn’t satisfied with that and wanted to know if you’d be doing any fun things.”

What surprise and relief it was to Bianca to know that Emma was not so opposed to her after all.  
“Wow! And what did you say to that?”  
“I said I was sure there were plenty of fun things to do in Cairns. You would probably go in a boat to look at the Great Barrier Reef coral and the tropical fish.”  
“Did you tell her I might go snorkelling over the Reef?”  
“Oh, no. I didn’t think of that. Did you?” Janet didn’t want to think about the boat part, but she would love to do the snorkelling.  
“I sure did. And it was just as amazing as it was when I did it five years ago. I have photos.”  
“Em would love that. She’s the outdoors, athletic one.”  
Bianca agreed. “She certainly is that. Liam would tag along, but I’m sure he’d be just as happy with his computer games.”  
Janet nodded. “He would, but he’s so easy going that it’s not hard to convince him to take part in the outdoor stuff.”

Bianca smiled at the memory of Ryan’s quip about bringing them all next time. Then she thought of Janet’s problem with boats, and took a deep breath. “Don’t think too hard about this - I went white water rafting! It was such fun. I have photos of that too.”  
“Ooooh, I won't think about it at all.” Janet shuddered and looked up at Bianca. “That’s something you can tell Em all about. Just make sure I’m out of earshot.” Bianca kissed her again. “There is stuff you can take to help cope with boats, you know that. Then, on a very calm day, you could come snorkelling. We would all go. The kids would love it.” 

She stood and pulled Janet to her feet. “But for now, I’m thinking we take it a day at a time. Sounds trite but we just have to work on it. It’s such a relief to know I have a place to start with Emma.” Janet reached up, putting her arms around Bianca’s neck and they held each other tightly. “One day at a time. Equal partners. We are going to do this Bianca.”  
Bianca kissed her forehead. “I do hope so.” She grinned. “So, am I to be Bianca in serious conversations?”  
Janet nuzzled into her neck. “Bianca, Bibi, whichever comes out. All that really matters is that you’re here.”

“I think I shouldn’t be here too much for now. And no staying overnight. Give Emma a chance to realise that I’m not the enemy. I do love them both Janet.”  
“I know you do, and Emma thinks a lot more of you than she wants us to see.”  
Janet eased out of Bianca’ embrace, still holding her lightly around the waist. “We are going to be a family.” Bianca kissed her lingeringly and murmured, “But now, my love, I need tea. Coffee?” The endearment sent a thrill fluttering through Janet. “Yes, please.”

When Robyn arrived with the twins Janet and Bianca were in the kitchen preparing dinner. Liam rushed to give Bianca a big hug. “So glad you’re back Bibi.” Bianca hugged him back. “I m glad too.” Emma gave her a smile. “What did you do in Cairns Bibi? Did you go on a boat?”  
“Yes, I did. I’ll tell you about it after dinner. Hi Robyn. How are things with you?”  
“Yeah, really good Bianca. We’re all glad to have you back.” Robyn liked Bianca, had thought Janet was ready to commit again with her. Now there was a rift. Janet could be so exasperating! Robyn was quite sure it would have been caused by her often insensitive ways. Still, Bianca was here, so they must want to sort it out. She would be quite happy to help more with the twins if the two women sometimes needed to be alone. 

Janet now had the children in her arms and looked at her mother over their heads. “Will you stay for dinner Mum?”  
“Well yes, I’d love to. Need any help?”  
Janet was surprised that Robyn accepted. They didn’t get on well, and she thought it showed how much Robyn liked Bianca. “No, we’re fine thanks. Oh, unless you want to tell the kids about your trip, and show them your photos Bianca?”  
Both children were delighted with that suggestion and begged in unison, “Yes! We want to see the photos. Please Bibi.” Emma, even more enthusiastic than Liam, wanted to know about the boat trip.

Bianca went to her bag and brought out the photos. She didn’t let on about the gifts. That could wait until after dinner. The three of them sat on the lounge, one child each side of Bianca. Emma was wildly excited about the rafting. “I would so love to do that Bibi.”  
“It was fun. You’re a little bit young yet, it would be too dangerous. But in a couple of years, who knows?” Emma was leaning comfortably against Bianca, absorbed in the photos and Bianca’s stories. Liam was cuddled up close, of course. Happy tears welled in Bianca’s eyes and she blinked them away. 

This was far more than she had dared hoped for. Emma still relaxed against her, took the photos of the coral and the fish, taking time to look at the detail of each one. Bianca continued, “You could learn to snorkel though Em. Don’t need to go to Cairns to do that.” Emma seemed suddenly to remember that she wasn’t supposed to like Bianca, and moved away from the contact, giving the photos back to Bianca. It seemed she didn’t want to concede just yet. Bianca was disappointed, but confident that the little charade that Emma was playing would soon dissolve. She gathered up the photos. “Ok, that’s all for now. Time to set the table.” Liam was quite comfortable where he was and objected, “I want to hear more about it, pleeease.”  
Bianca laughed, indulging in half a hug as she dragged him off the lounge. “Plenty of time for that later mate. Off you go and help Emma.” He reluctantly went to help with the table.

Dinner was relaxed and chatty, mostly about Bianca’s time in Cairns. Robyn was seated at the end of the table, the children either side of her. Liam had begged to have Bianca sit next to him, so Janet and Bianca were opposite each other. The looks they exchanged throughout the meal left Robyn in no doubt about their feelings. Liam had to be shushed frequently and reminded to keep eating. Emma didn’t have much to say, seemingly happy enough offering a comment here and there, but not directly to Bianca.

Robyn curbed Liam’s chatter and found herself enjoying the warm, family atmosphere - not always the case when she and Janet were together. They did rub each other up the wrong way. When dinner was finished she left the table, saying to Janet, “What if we clean up and Bianca can finish showing the kids her photos before bath and bedtime?” Janet readily agreed. “Yep, and I think Bianca has something else to show them too.” Emma and Liam scrambled from the table, both talking at once, asking what else Bianca had to show them.

She took the parcels from her bag. “There you are, I brought these back from Cairns for you.”  
They impatiently tore the paper away. Emma held the napoleon fish up, admiring the colours. “It’s just like the one in the photos. The one that came up to be touched!” She hugged the toy, a big smile of delight spreading across her face. “Thanks Bibi. He can go on my bed.” Bianca was overjoyed at the response, hoped for, but be no means expected.  
Liam was wide-eyed over his Lego. “Thanks Bibi. I haven’t got any Nexo Knights. Can we build it now?” Bianca laughed. “It’s a bit late to be making a mess. What if I pick you up from school tomorrow and we’ll build it when you get home?” She turned to Robyn and Janet. “Would that suit you Robyn? Ok with you Janet?”  
Both women nodded. Robyn replied, “Yes, that would be great Bianca. I’ll be able to take my time over some errands I have to do.”  
“Fine with me.” The look Janet gave Bianca said the prospect of having her there when she got home, was much more than fine.


	3. Chapter 3

Robyn had left as soon as the cleaning up was done. Janet hurried the twins through bath time then, after she had read them two stories, Liam wanted Bianca to read one more. To her surprise, Emma also plopped on the lounge next to her, leaning against her as she had earlier. They badgered Bianca into a second story, after which Janet insisted it was bedtime. Liam hugged Bianca, Emma gave her a little smile, they all said goodnight and Janet took them upstairs to settle them into bed.

Bianca was sitting savouring the day’s events when Janet came up quietly behind her, kissing the nape of her neck. “I wish you would stay,” she whispered, nibbling the lobe of Bianca’s ear, sending a quiver of delight through her.  
“You, Janet King, are temptation! Come here and kiss me properly, then I’m going home.”  
Janet swung onto the lounge next to her, kissing her searchingly. Bianca gasped for air. “You are also greedy - no more of that today!” Janet giggled. “Are you imposing rations now?” Bianca grinned. “I might have to, if you don’t behave.” Another long kiss and Bianca got up, gathered her things, headed for the door. Janet hugged her, breathed into her ear, “How can I let you go?”  
Bianca kissed her cheek, murmured back, “You must. We don’t want to blow this with Em.”  
Janet again placed her hand on Bianca’s heart. “And we are on a day at a time. Have to pass the test. Oh, hang on a minute.” She got the set of house keys Bianca had returned, pressed them into her hand. “You’d better have these so you can get in when you get home with the kids tomorrow.” A look that almost sank Bianca, another kiss and they parted. 

Traffic was slow and they were late home after school the next day. Once inside, Bianca looked thoughtfully at the keys in her hand, decided ‘not yet’, and hung them back on the key rack.

Liam, frustrated by the traffic hold-up, rushed upstairs to get his new Lego. Emma followed, not in any rush. Bianca called out after them, “Get changed, you two.” A few moments later they were back downstairs, dutifully changed into after-school clothes. Liam had his Lego, Emma her bag of colouring gear.

All the Lego pieces out, Liam called Bianca to come help him build. He asked Emma if she wanted to help but she said no, she wanted to draw something they saw when they were at the park. The Lego build was only partly done when Emma stood next to Bianca with her drawing.  
“All finished Em?’” Emma nodded. Bianca took the drawing. “What’s the picture about?”  
“There’s a boy walking a dog and that’s his Mum with him. Two little kids are riding bikes in the puddles ‘cos it’s been raining.” Bianca pointed to a pale rainbow in the corner of the page.  
“And a double rainbow. I like the pale colours you’ve used. Was the sky still misty?”  
Emma nodded again. “Yes, but it was sunny where we were.”

Bianca was surprised that the little girl had used pastel colours for the rainbow, expecting that she would have used bright, bold colours. The colours were repeated in the same order, instead of the second bow being a reflection. As she started to explain about the reflection, Emma suddenly exploded. “Don’t pick on my drawing. Stop bossing me!!” Liam stopped his building and turned on her. “Emma!!” She scattered his Lego pieces and spat out, “You shut-up, Liam,” and tore off upstairs. He ran after her and they ended up in a shouting match in the bedroom.  
“You didn’t have to mess up my Lego, and don’t tell me to shut-up. Why are you so mean to Bianca?”  
“You CAN shut-up. She’s not the boss of me,” she screamed at him.  
He shouted back, “She was NOT bossing. She was trying to help. She knows stuff.”  
“I don’t want her telling me about MY stuff.” Emma threw herself on the bed, glaring at him from a face contorted with rage. He scowled at her. “And if you want your turn on the top, get off MY bed.”

Emma’s outburst, so unexpected, stunned Bianca. She sat staring at the drawing, thinking how much she had to learn about children. Especially this particular child. What to do? She had no idea. It was clear that she shouldn’t have pointed out the error. A bit late now. The escalating row upstairs needed some sort of action. She took the stairs two at a time, arriving at the bedroom door in time to see Emma throw herself on the bed, and hear Liam tell her to get off.

She knocked tentatively. “May I come in?” Liam said yes, Emma shifted her angry glare to Bianca.  
Liam started again, with raised voice, “She messed up my Lego and she told me to shut-up.”  
Bianca took him gently by the shoulders. “No more shouting, Liam. You go and sort out the loose pieces. I’ll be down to help shortly. Emma’s upset. I’ll stay with her for a little while.” He opened his mouth to protest. Bianca shook her head and guided him out the door. “No more, Liam.” He glared back at Emma as he went.

Bianca sat cross legged on the floor near the bed, but not too close. Emma glowered at her. Bianca held her gaze with soft eyes. “Will you tell me why you’re so angry, Emma?” The child turned away to face the wall. Bianca struggled to stay calm, fighting panic, not knowing if she should even stay. She decided she must try to reach her. “I’ll just sit here quietly until you feel better. We do have to talk about this.” Emma stiffened her shoulders, curled up and moved closer to the wall. Bianca had been waiting five minutes, seemed like an hour, when Liam appeared at the door. “Come and help me build, Bibi.” She got up and went to him. “I’ll be right down. You keep on with it.” He stood his ground for a moment, then turned and slowly went downstairs.

Emma was still in a tight ball. Bianca wanted to sweep her up in her arms, comfort her, but she knew that wouldn’t work. “I’m going to help Liam with his Lego. I’ll come back in a little while. I’m not angry with you. Let’s make sure it’s all ok by the time your Mum gets home.” She left the room quietly, resisting the urge to touch the unyielding child.

Liam had sorted the Lego pieces and Bianca helped him to follow the build instructions. At last it was finished and Liam carefully moved it to the side table, excited for his Mum to see it when she came home. Bianca listened to his reading homework, agreed he could have some screen time, and went upstairs to try to get Emma to talk to her. 

Emma had moved to the top bunk, again facing the wall. Bianca leaned in the doorway, wondering what on earth she should do. “Do you need a drink of water Emma? I’ve brought your drink bottle.” When the little girl didn’t answer, Bianca moved close to the side of the bed and said, very softly, “I’m sorry you thought I was picking on your drawing. I didn’t mean it like that. You always like to get details right, so I thought you would want to know. It’s not at all important.” Still no response. “I’m going downstairs again. I’ll leave your drink bottle on the table. Come down when you’re ready.” Bianca sensed that Emma was not angry any more, but playing a power game. Best not to play the game. Janet would have to deal with it.

When Janet got home Liam couldn’t wait to start on about Emma. Janet gave Bianca a quick kiss. “What’s happened?” Liam started again. Bianca shushed him. “Emma got upset. No need to go on about it, Liam. Show Mum your Lego.” Janet admired the new Lego, all the while giving Bianca concerned glances. Liam wasn’t giving up. “Bianca helped, but Emma was mean.” Bianca tousled his hair. “That’s enough Liam. Dinner’s nearly ready, so you set the table and we’ll go check on Emma.” He wasn’t pleased, but went ahead with the job. 

While Janet got changed Bianca told her what had happened with Emma. “We were being so careful to give her time and space, now I’ve blown it anyway. Mistake to mention the rainbow. Too late now.” She was visibly shaken. “I had no idea what to do.” Janet held her close. “You haven’t blown it, my darling. Clearly, there’s a lot more going on with Em than we thought.” She kissed her softly. “We’ll sort it out. I’ll talk to her.” 

Bianca went downstairs and Janet sat on her bed for a few moments, trying to gather her thoughts. She wasn’t too sure of the best way to deal with the situation either, but deal with it she must. Emma didn’t respond when Janet came in and asked, “What’s going on Em?” Janet waited but Emma didn’t move. “Come on, get down and we’ll go sit on my bed and talk about it.” Gently, but firmly, she turned her little girl over to face her. Emma lowered her eyes and pouted. Janet smoothed back her hair. “Get down, I need a hug.” It worked. Emma swung down and threw herself into Janet’s arms. Janet hugged her very tightly. “That’s better. Now we can talk.” 

They sat propped up on Janet’s bed, Emma cuddled up in her arms. Janet kissed the top of her head. “Now, what are you worried about? What really made you go off like that?” The child snuggled closer. “Don’t know.” Janet held her away, cupped her face gently. “Then we need to find out.” Emma dropped her eyes and looked very uncomfortable. “Look at me, Emma.” Still she wouldn’t. Janet insisted. “We have to talk about this, Emma. Please look at me.” She tilted the little girl’s chin, and at last she looked up. “Bianca doesn’t like me. She always favours Liam.” This definitely wasn’t true. If anything, Bianca went out of her way with Emma. Janet smoothed her hair again. “You know that’s not right Em. Bianca is the same with both of you. She wasn’t being picky about your drawing. You really do know that, don’t you?” Emma dropped her eyes again but gave a tiny nod. Janet cuddled her again. “So what if we leave it for now and we’ll talk some more later?” Emma nodded again. “You do need to say sorry to Bianca, even if you don’t feel sorry right now. Then we can have dinner.” Emma shook her head. “I don’t want dinner.” Janet cupped her face again. “You have to face Bianca sometime, so better to get it over with. She’s not angry with you. Come on, we’ll go and do it straight away.”

Emma looked at Bianca, then looked down, wriggling in discomfort. “Sorry Bianca.” It was barely a whisper, and no Bibi. Bianca said softly, “I’m sorry too, Emma, I didn't mean to hurt you feelings. Let’s leave it now and have dinner.” 

Dinner was a subdued affair. Emma poked around at her food and ate very little. Liam, usually so easy-going, kept looking daggers at her. Janet and Bianca managed some uninspired small talk. 

While Bianca and Liam started clearing away after the meal, Janet heard Emma’s reading homework, then headed back upstairs with her. Emma just wanted to have a bath and go to bed, but Janet sat on the edge of the bath, frothing up the bubbles, smiling at her daughter. “Too early to go to bed yet, Em. Take a while in the bath, then come downstairs. We don’t need to talk about Bianca now unless you want to.” Emma shook her head and Janet continued, “That’s ok, but Bianca is going to be around sometimes, so we will have to talk about it soon. We all have to get along and be kind to each other.”

Bianca and Liam had finished cleaning up and were playing a computer game, when Janet came back. It had seemed to be the best option to keep him occupied. Janet poured a glass of wine and motioned to Bianca did she want one. Bianca shook her head. Janet sat at the table with her wine, thinking how things had changed since yesterday’s wonderful afternoon with Bianca. By the time Bianca and Liam had finished the game, Emma appeared, all ready for bed in her PJs. Janet hurried Liam along. “Bath-time, Liam.” Reluctantly, he left the computer. “Thanks for the game, Bibi.”  
“Good game. I enjoyed it, except that you won!” She grinned at him, then started to collect her things. Janet put a hand on her arm, said quietly, “Please wait, we need to talk.” 

Emma went back upstairs with Janet while Liam had his bath. Both children came back to say goodnight to Bianca. Emma just managed it, then took off upstairs. Liam gave Bianca a big hug. “I’m sorry Emma was so mean Bibi.” Bianca hugged him back. “You don’t need to worry about it Liam. It will be ok. Off you go. Goodnight mate.”  
“Goodnight, Bibi.” He bounded up the stairs for story time with Janet.

Janet brought her wine and sat next to Bianca on the lounge. “Thanks for waiting. It’s been tough for you.” Bianca sighed. “Yes, it has. I can’t see how I’m going to be able to get through to Emma. She seems to hate me.”  
“She doesn’t hate you, she is just very mixed up. And I think you are right that she is playing a power game. We can’t let her win that game.”  
“So, how do we solve it?”  
Janet sipped her wine. “For a start, I think you should stay tonight. I know you wanted to wait but it would make a statement to Em if you are here in the morning.”  
Bianca was apprehensive. “I don’t know Janet. Wouldn’t that inflame things even more?”  
“In the short term, perhaps. But if we don’t make a stand, we could be encouraging her to make a scene every time you turn up.”  
Bianca managed a little smile. “I didn’t bring any overnight gear.”  
“I’m sure I can find something to get you through. So you’ll stay?”  
“Yes, if you think it’s worth a try, I will.”  
“Will you have wine now?”  
“I would love a wine. Think I need it.”  
Janet poured the wine and they sat sipping it in silence.. They had been so hopeful that Emma was almost ready to accept Bianca, and now this.

Janet put down her wine. “Put down your glass so I can kiss you.” Bianca obliged, leaned in for the kiss. “Yesterday seems a long, long time ago now, doesn’t it?”  
Janet sighed. “Almost as if it didn’t happen.” She kissed Bianca slowly, softly. “I love you Bianca Grieve.”  
“I love you, too, Janet King, but I’m a bit afraid of your daughter.” 

Janet collected the glasses, rinsed them and put them in the drainer. “Let’s go to bed, and I’ll help you forget all this for a while.” Bianca held both Janet’s hands. “I think I’m too rattled for what you’re suggesting.”  
“Why don’t we see about that. You go have a shower, it might help you relax. I have a couple of things to do. Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to stay. It won’t take long - twenty minutes, max.”  
“You don’t need to apologise.” Bianca raised Janet’s hands to her lips, kissing each hand in turn, no sparkle in her eyes. “I think I’ll take a long bath.”  
“Add some lavender. And don’t go to bed without me.”

Janet spent ten minutes on her files, but it was no use. She packed them away, thinking that she wouldn’t have brought them home had she known Bianca would be staying. And she could get up early to finish up. ‘Oh, Bibi, will I never learn?’ She gritted her teeth in annoyance at her stupidity, bounded upstairs to the bathroom, where she was met by the soothing fragrance of lavender. 

Bianca was still in the bath, eyes closed, tension lines still showing. Janet knelt and felt the water. Bianca opened her eyes. “Your work is done?”  
“No. You are my priority. I’ll do it in the morning. Water’s a bit cool, I’ll top it up for you.” She let out some water to make room for more hot, swishing it around to spread the warmth. Bianca sank down further into the water. “That’s wonderful.” Janet reached for the lavender oil, lovingly applied some to each of Bianca’s temples. “So are you. Stay there while I have a shower.”

Janet was out of the shower and dried. She knelt by the bath again. “You’d better get out. I don’t want you going to sleep and drowning in the bath.” Bianca smiled. “Now who’s being daft?” She got out and Janet wrapped her in a towel. “Get dried, while I do a last check downstairs.”

By the time she got back, Bianca was all dry, combing her hair. Janet caught her breath at the reflection in the bathroom mirror. She put her arms around the body she loved so much, whispered in Bianca’s ear, “How did the lavender work on your rattled?” Bianca turned and kissed her. “I feel much less rattled now.” A hint of a smirk. “Does your offer still stand?” Janet took her by the hand. “Come with me, while I think about it.” Bianca pulled a serious face. “Don’t be too long deciding.” They collapsed in a giggly heap on the bed. It wasn’t long before the giggling was stifled by a deep, demanding kiss. Janet drew away just a little. That look again. Bianca trembled, breathed a little groan of desire. Janet sat up, her gaze moving slowly over the lovely, trembling body beside her.  
Bianca groaned again. “Stop teasing, you’re driving me mad.”  
“I’m not teasing. I’m enjoying looking at you.” She stretched out beside her again. “But if you insist.” And the stress of the day was forgotten, as Janet had said it would be.

Janet woke up early and, for a few minutes, indulged in the delight of Bianca being her first sight upon waking. Carefully, she slipped out of bed and pulled on trackies. She had put her t shirt back on during the night. A visit to the bathroom, a splash of cold water on her face, then downstairs to make coffee and tackle her files. 

The twenty minutes she had promised Bianca turned out to be ambitious. She had been at it forty minutes, almost finished, when Emma came down, yawning and wanting to cuddle. “Good morning, my precious, did you sleep ok?”  
“Morning. I kept waking up. Bianca is still here.”  
“Yes. She’ll be up soon and will help with brekkie and lunches while I finish up here.” Emma was clearly not impressed, but didn’t comment.

Liam, meanwhile, had charged into Janet’s room, leaping onto the bed, thinking to wake her and have some rough and tumble. His face lit up when he saw Bianca. “Bibi. You stayed!” Bianca had also put on her t shirt during the night, anticipating just such a visit. Half awake when the mini-tornado arrived, she was fully awake now. She tousled his hair, rolling him over in mock combat. “Hey, take it easy mate, I might break.” Liam giggled and wrestled with her - no match for her well-toned biceps, but she feigned defeat. He bounced off the bed. “Where’s Mum?”  
“Not sure. Downstairs, completing some work from last night, I would think.” He took off to find Janet. Bianca went to the wardrobe for Janet’s robe, and there, hanging next to it, was her own, as well as some other clothes she had left. So much had been happening since that awful day in the office, that she had completely forgotten about them. Change of clothes no problem after all.

She decided against the robe and got dressed. A trip to the bathroom, cold water to her face, and she headed downstairs. On the last step she took a deep breath, feeing very apprehensive about Emma’s reaction. She put the kettle on, hiding her feelings with a smile. “Good morning. Who wants breakfast?” Liam was at her side in a flash. “Morning, Bibi. I’ll help with brekkie.” Emma managed a muffled, “Morning, Bibi.” Bibi. That was encouraging. It had been Bianca last night. Janet finished putting the files in her briefcase, came and kissed her. “Morning, Bibi. Did you sleep well?” The twins exchanged rolled eyes looks, Liam momentarily forgetting his feud with Emma.

The two women locked eyes, an intimate moment. Bianca replied, “I slept very well, thank you.” Her breezy tone was no reflection of the tension she was feeling. “Now, who wants what for brekkie?” Cereal, and toast with Vegemite, were the only requests - easy, no mess. Janet had not long made fresh coffee. Bianca made tea, and started the toast while Janet made the lunches. Emma and Liam set the table without being asked, then got their own cereal. Breakfast was rarely leisurely on school days, and today was no exception. Somehow, they managed to get through without any friction. As usual, Liam had to be hurried along, and was last to leave the table, rushing off to get ready for school.

Before going to sleep last night, Janet and Bianca had briefly discussed today. Play it by ear with breakfast and lunches, depending on where Janet was with her files. Bianca said she’d stay and clean up. School runs back to normal - Janet would take them and Robyn would collect them. Bianca picking them up had been a once off for Liam and his Lego.

Now, with the twins upstairs, there was time for a hug and a lingering kiss. Bianca patted Janet on the bottom. “Off you go and get ready, or it will be chaos.” Janet grinned. “Just one more?” Bianca’s little half smile, then, with stern voice, “One more, and no more!” Another kiss, and Bianca patted her again. “Now, go!” Janet headed for the stairs. “I’m going, I’m going.” 

When they were all finally out the door, Bianca looked around, feeling not quite at home, wishing that she did. “All in good time,” she said out loud. Even though staying last night had been amazing, she still wanted to take things slowly. No point pushing it with Emma. And anyway, she had arranged to have dinner with an old school friend tonight. She finished tidying up, gathered her things and thought again about the keys. It was still ‘not yet’. She locked the door behind her, headed for home. 

Janet sat on the lounge, twirling the stem of her wine glass. How empty the house was, without Bianca. The twins in bed asleep, Bianca out with a friend, when she should be here. Janet knew it was totally unreasonable, but that was how she felt. She looked at the phone. 10:30pm. Would Bianca be home yet? Probably not. Old friends usually had a lot of catching up to do. She decided to ring anyway. 

Bianca answered quickly. “Janet. You ok?” The sound of her voice made Janet’s heart skip. “Missing you. Are you home?”  
“Yes. Alice dropped me off a few minutes ago. How was your day?”  
“Busy, as usual. Frantic, in fact. What have you been doing all day?”  
“Not a lot. Mostly housework. Had to go to the shops, then it was time to get ready.”  
“How was dinner? Should I know Alice? Should I be worried?”  
“Dinner was nice. No, you don’t know Alice. And no, sweetheart, you definitely do not need to be worried about her. I’ll tell you about her next time I come over. Right now, you need to go to bed. No doubt you’ll have more of the same at work tomorrow.”  
Janet sighed. “No doubt! Wish you were here. I sleep better with you next to me.”  
Bianca chided, “Stop it! You’ll sleep just fine. Oh, but first, how is Em?”  
“She’s been a bit quiet. Liam started on to Mum about the row, so I had to fill her in. She had dinner ready when I got home, and actually stayed for it! Your influence I reckon. I had a little chat with Em, but it’s hard with Liam around. Clearly, she’s a mixed up little girl and it’s going to take a bit of sorting out.”  
“Maybe you can do some ‘girl shopping’ or such at the weekend and I can do something with Liam. We’ll talk about it later. I hope you’ve been getting ready for bed while we’ve been talking.” 

Janet had been doing just that. “I have, and I’ll call you back when my head is on the pillow.” She finished in the bathroom, smiling at the thought of once again needing a cold shower. After one last check on the twins, she slipped into bed and rang Bianca. “My head is on the pillow, where is yours?”  
“Mine is on the pillow, too. I’ll ring tomorrow night and we can work out when to catch up. Now go to sleep. Love you.”  
“Love you, too. Talk tomorrow.”

Much to the delight of the twins, Janet got home a bit earlier than usual next evening. After their usual hugs and kissed, Robyn shooed them off to screen time - unlike her, and Janet could see she was very edgy. “What’s up Mum?”  
“Phil rang. He didn’t want to call you at work. Graham died this afternoon. The hospital is asking about organ donation.” Janet was stunned. “But…. but he was awake and improving.” She looked at Robyn in disbelief. “What happened?” Robyn shook her head. “Not sure. They think it could have been a blood clot, or a haemorrhage. There’ll have to be an autopsy.” Janet got up and paced around. “Yes, must do an autopsy. Have to know the cause. Coronial. There will be charges if they find out who threw the punch.” 

She leaned against the bench. “I need to call the hospital and give permission for the organs.” The person handling Graham’s case had the paperwork ready for signing, and would fax it to Janet immediately. 

While she was waiting, she called Phil to let him know about the organ donation, thanked him again for being the contact for the hospital and said she’d keep him informed. He was concerned for Janet, offered to do anything he could to help. She finished the call and turned to Robyn. “Does Amy know?” Robyn nodded. “Yes, I called her straight away. She didn’t have time to chat, said she’d call back tomorrow.” 

The fax came through, Janet checked it over, signed where required and faxed it back.

Robyn had made tea, and handed coffee to Janet. They sat opposite each other at the table. Janet looked into the coffee. “I’d rather have wine.” Her mother gave a lop-sided smile. “Better keep that for after dinner.” Janet sighed, nodded agreement and sipped the coffee. 

There had rarely been any show of affection between mother and daughter, and Janet almost flinched when Robyn put a hand on hers. “I came prepared to stay tonight. If you’d like me to.”  
Janet searched her face, surprised to find softness. “Thanks, I’d like that. Would you keep an eye on those two? I need to talk to Bianca.” Robyn finished her tea, took the cup to the sink. “Of course. I can go, if you want her to come over.” Janet had no idea why this change in her mother, but she was hoping to find out after the twins went to bed. “No. I want you to stay. I need to talk to Bianca, but there’s no urgency for her to come now. Not as if I’m grief-stricken.” Then, coffee in hand, she headed upstairs to ring Bianca.

“I wasn’t expecting you. Thought I was to ring you. Are you ok?” Janet filled her in about Graham, as well as why she wanted time with Robyn. “I’d better go sort the kids out. I’ll get back to you at bedtime. Love you.”  
“Love you, too.”

Downstairs, Liam and Emma were setting the table, Robyn dishing up the dinner. Janet felt a rush of emotion, thinking of last Sunday night’s dinner, with Bianca here too. ‘Not the complete family without you, my love. And what is going on with my mother?’

When at last the twins were in bed, Janet poured the wine she had wanted earlier. Robyn declined, preferring chamomile. Janet didn’t have to think of a way to ask what was going on, Robyn started the conversation. “You’ve changed, Janet. Something very good must have happened while you were in Geraldton.” Janet was astounded that her mother had noticed. “The main thing that happened there was letting go of Graham, and that was definitely a good thing. There was some emotional stuff, too.” A rueful smile. “Bianca picked up the pieces.”  
“I’m glad she went with you. It would have been tough on your own.”  
“It was tough anyway. Very tough. I had to face a lot of things. I have a way to go yet.”

Robyn made more tea, came back to sit next to Janet. “I want us to get along. We’re so much alike, but that’s no excuse for being abrasive with each other. I need to change a bit, too.” Janet nodded. “You’re right Mum, we should try to get along. I’ve loved the couple of meals we’ve had this week. Sunday night was great.”

Robyn grinned. “That was more to do with Bianca, than me. You are working it out, aren’t you?”  
“We’re trying. I shut her out, took her for granted, and she gave up on me. I did it to Ash, too. Yes, I’m working on it. Not easy to change old habits.” She sighed. “It was going well, then Emma blew up. We have to sort out what’s going on with her.” Robyn again placed her hand on Janet’s. “Children are resilient, Janet. Don’t let Em get in the way of your relationship with Bianca. If you are going to be together, the sooner Em knows it, the better. I’m not saying you should ignore her feelings but let her know that Bianca is in your lives to stay.” Janet grimaced. “I’m not yet sure that she is. I have to convince her that she is up there with the kids in my life.”

They sat quietly for a while. Janet spoke first. “I hope they can use some of Graham’s organs and tissue. Then there would be at least some good from his life.” Her mother’s reply was instant, “I count you and Amy as immense good to come from his life.” Janet thought of how her sister had never seemed to worry about Graham’s expectations. “How did Amy take it?“  
“Like you, she was shocked, but not grief-stricken. She didn’t like him any more than you did.”  
Janet twirled her glass. “Maybe not, but she got along with him ok.” Robyn gave a little shake of her head. “It only seemed that way to you because Amy didn’t care about what he thought. She knew what she wanted to do and ignored his constant barbs. You, on the other hand, took everything to heart, desperately wanting his approval.”

Janet leaned back and closed her eyes. That was certainly true, and how glad she was that she had finally let go of it at the hospital. She looked at her mother. “What did you ever see in him, Mum?” Robyn smiled. “Ah, he was a real charmer. Hard to believe, I know. Think about how many times he convinced people to go along with his schemes. We enjoyed a lot of the same things. He actually laughed a lot in those days. And soon after we were married, we did quite a bit of travelling.”

“I didn’t know that. Did you go overseas, or just around Oz?”  
“Both, but more overseas. Going to Europe was something of a rite of passage back then. We spent a couple of days in Brussels, so I have some idea of where Amy is.” Janet found herself feeling a mixture of happy and sad - happy that it seemed she might at last get to know her mother, sad that it had taken so long. Robyn continued, “I’ll tell you more about our travels another time. I have something else to tell you now.”

Janet’s eyes widened. “Do tell. This seems to be the day for news.” She gave a nervous little smile. “Is it good news?” Robyn chuckled, “I think it’s very good news. Do you remember the Greens, who lived next door to us in Perth?”  
“Of course I remember them! I cried myself to sleep for months because you made me leave Sally and Winston.” Robyn was contrite. “I know, and I’m sorry the move was so hard on you. Anyway, I bumped into their father at the Quay Station a few months ago. Literally. I had to get out of the way of someone about to flatten me, and bumped right into Ian. We recognised each other immediately, even though we haven’t met since we moved over here.” 

This was completely out of left field, and Janet wondered where it was leading. “Are the Greens in Sydney now? What are Winnie and Sally doing? Do either of them have kids?” Robyn held up her hand. “Hey, slow down, I’m getting there. Ian still lives in Perth. He comes to Sydney on business one week in each month. Jean died six years ago. Sally and Winston are both married. Sally lives not far from Ian and has two girls. Winston has a property in the foothills. He has a girl and a boy, both of them mad keen on horses.”

Janet’s head was spinning. She was starting to have an inkling where this might be going. “Is Ian in town now?” Robyn shook her head. “No. He’s home in Perth. He’ll be back in two weeks.” It was Janet’s turn to place her hand on her mother’s. “You’ve been seeing him. Is it serious?” Her mother actually blushed. Janet grinned, a very big grin and exclaimed, “My mother is in love! You are, aren’t you?” Robyn’s blush deepened. “Yes, I am. I can hardly believe it. I haven’t looked at a man since your father left, and now, I feel like a giddy teenager again.” Janet was delighted, grabbed both Robyn’s hands. “So what’s next? Is he going to spend more time here? Are you going to spend time in Perth, or even move there?” 

Robyn smiled. “I told Ian you’d be happy for us. He thought you might think us a couple of silly old farts.” Janet burst our laughing. “He doesn’t mince words, does he? I think it’s absolutely wonderful. If you’re happy together, who cares what anyone thinks?”  
“We care what you think. Not that it would change what we do, but it’s nice that you’re happy for us. I hope you sort things out with Bianca, so we can be as happy for you.”

Janet sat back, still looking at Robyn with incredulous delight. “I’m crazy about her. I don’t want to let her down, but I’m likely to get carried away sometimes. She knows me pretty well. I hope she can accept that.” Robyn quirked an eyebrow. “From what I saw of the two of you on Sunday, she wants it as much as you do. All you really need to do, is include her.”  
“I see you know me, too. Better than I thought. We have work to do with Emma. Bianca hasn’t had a lot to do with kids and is still quite rattled by her outburst.”  
“As I said before, Emma has to accept Bianca. Your first job is to get things settled between you. If you’re not solid, Emma will work you. I’ll back you up when they’re with me.”

What an incredible day! Janet was feeling as if she were in a dream, from which she would awaken at any moment. She got up, took her glass and Robyn’s cup, rinsed them and put them in the drainer. Robyn joined her. “Enough about me. Go talk to Bianca.” Janet smirked. “And you want to talk to Ian.” Robyn chuckled. “Sprung! Off you go.” Janet headed for the stairs. “Will you do the final check before you come up?” Robyn nodded. “i will.”

Bianca was as surprised and delighted for Robyn as Janet. Even more pleased that mother and daughter had agreed that they needed to get along. They indulged in a little speculation as to what Robyn might be planning with Ian, laughed at the futility of their guessing, and gave up on it. 

Janet wanted Bianca to pick up the twins from school but Bianca was doubtful. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I don’t want another scene.” Janet reassured her. “Darling, we have to let her know you’re going to be around. Mum will support us. She told me to get us sorted, so that we are solid, because if we’re not, Emma will play us. We’ll talk to them both at breakfast.” Bianca was still unsure. “You don’t think it might be pushing it too soon?”  
“No, I don’t. I agree with Mum, that we have to make it clear to Em.” She laughed softly. “Strange for me to be agreeing with my mother. Your head must be in a scramble over all this.”  
“A lot has happened in one day, I give you that. My head is going around a bit. I guess I can give it another try with Emma. Try to find time to let me know how your little talk goes.”  
“Mum will drop the kids at school, so I’ll give you a call after brekkie.”  
Some talk of baths, lavender, loving, looking forward to tomorrow, and they finished the call.

Bianca sat looking at the phone, feeling nervous and a little pushed into dealing with Emma. On the other hand, she was aching for Janet’s touch. Couldn’t have one without the other, so best take a deep breath and get on with it. Her mind turned to getting home with the twins next afternoon, and she suddenly realised that she didn’t have the keys. Ah, well, maybe leave it for now. That thought left her with very mixed feelings. Relief at not having to deal with Emma, disappointment at being apart from Janet.

She need not have worried on the second count. When Janet rang after breakfast, to tell her that Emma had agreed to behave, she had arranged for Robyn to drop the keys off after she had taken the twins to school. More mixed feelings. Still nervous about Emma. Sweet anticipation of love-making with Janet.

Robyn arrived as Bianca was making tea, and accepted her offer of a cuppa.  
“Good of you to drop the keys in, Robyn. I thought I might get to put off dealing with Emma.” She smiled ruefully. “But that would also mean putting off time with your daughter.” Robyn grinned. “I can see the two of you don’t want to do that. Emma will have to get used to it.” Bianca grinned back. “Are we really that obvious?’ Robyn lifted an eyebrow. “You certainly are. It’s a wonder the electricity doesn’t do you an injury.” Bianca blushed. Robyn laughed. “No need to be embarrassed. I hope you will be family. Janet has changed since you were in Gero. Hopefully, enough to keep things right between you.” 

Her relationship with Janet was not something Bianca wanted to discuss too deeply with Robyn. It was easy to change the focus to Ian. “Janet told me about Ian. I’m so happy for you, can’t wait to meet him.” Robyn’s expression softened at the mention of his name. “I’ve been thinking perhaps we could have an Indian curry night at Janet’s next time he’s here. Haven’t had a chance to talk to Janet about it but I’m pretty sure she’s hanging out to see him, too.” Bianca agreed. “Oh, yes, she is. She’s so excited about you two.”

They chatted for a while about Ian and his family, then Robyn left, saying she had a few errands to do and would catch up with Bianca at Janet’s place soon. Bianca closed the door behind Robyn, stood turning the keys over and over in her hand, feeling vaguely pressured, and that it was still too soon for her to keep them. 

On the drive home after school, Liam was his usual chatty self. Emma looked out the window and said nothing, the whole way. At home, they clattered up the stairs to get changed. Bianca put on the kettle and paced nervously around the kitchen. Better take those deep breaths, didn’t want to show she was nervous.

As far as Emma was concerned, her promise to behave didn’t stretch to being friendly, but at least she got on quietly with her homework. She conceded enough to do her reading with Bianca while Liam was still puddling around with his maths. Then it was Liam’s turn to read, and that done, he tried hard to get Bianca to play computer games. “Not now, mate. You can have screen time now, or later. Sort it out between you.” They decided to amuse themselves until their favourite show came on. 

Although she gradually relaxed, Bianca was still wary of Emma. She shook her head, thinking that her work threw her up against some of the toughest characters around, yet here she was, intimidated by a sulky little kid. Hmmm, have to get on top of this, Grieve. She smiled to herself and started preparing dinner.

When Janet arrived home, the twins were too absorbed in their TV show to come rushing to greet her. She planted a kiss on the top of each head and turned to Bianca. “How have they been?”  
“Very good. Restrained, but good.” Janet read the code, breathed a sigh of relief, and kissed Bianca hello. Bianca hugged her, whispered, “I wonder if I’ll ever get over wanting to rush you off to bed when you look at me.” Janet hugged her tighter, whispered back, “I hope not.”

Dinner time was pleasant enough, with Emma joining in the conversation here and there. After the meal, Bianca insisted that she would clean up while Janet spent time with the kids. Bath-time came, giving the two women the chance to catch up on the day’s happenings, punctuated by hugs and kisses and roving hands.

The twins re-appeared, all ready for bed and stories. Liam hugged Bianca. “Goodnight, Bibi.” She kissed the top of his head. “Goodnight, Liam.” No hug from Emma, of course, but she did say, “Goodnight, Bibi,” without pouting. It seemed that ‘Bibi’ was re-instated. 

Stories read, children all tucked in, Janet came back to find Bianca stretched out on the lounge, reading a travel brochure. Janet tossed it on the floor, stretched out next to Bianca, snuggled up nice and close. “Are you planning a trip?” She didn’t really think so, but was the tiniest bit afraid. Bianca laughed. “Not unless you’re coming with me. Did you notice that it’s about Western Australia? I picked it up this afternoon. I’m interested, since Robyn might end up over there.” Janet picked up the brochure. “Hmmm. We could go as tourists.” She dropped it on the floor and went back to cuddling, kissing and roving. 

Bianca felt herself sinking. “Time to rush you off, m’love.”  
“I thought you were already doing that. Let’s stay here.”  
“No. Let’s shower together first.”  
“I think I’m too weak to climb the stairs.” Bianca pulled her to her feet. “All this chemistry proving too much for you?” she teased. Janet leaned against her. “Irresistible.” They giggled, falling onto the lounge in a tangle of arms and legs. Janet broke away. “Come on, let’s do the shower thing.” Her turn to tease, “Time to rush you off.” 

Too aroused to linger in the shower, they were soon in bed. With a smirk, Bianca pulled the sheet up over her. “No teasing tonight.” Janet flipped the sheet back. “You don’t want me looking at you?” Bianca grinned, pulled the sheet up again. “Of course I do, but I want your touching more.” Janet took the sheet away again, placed her hand to feel the beating of Bianca’s heart. “Will this do?” Still grinning, Bianca rolled into her. “Teasing of a different kind, eh? Not likely!” 

When, at last, they lay spent, still entangled, Janet murmured, sleepily, “Tell me about Alice.” Bianca stroked her hair. “Tomorrow, my sweet.“ But Janet was already asleep. Bianca carefully disentangled them, snuggled up, and drifted into the contented sleep of fulfilment. Alice could wait.


	4. Chapter 4

More than a week had passed since the Thursday night Janet sleepily asked about Alice, and she hadn’t given her lover’s friend another thought. The plan had been for Bianca to come over on the Sunday, but on Friday night she texted Janet to say she was coming down with a head-cold and was dosing up on hot honey and lemon drinks, as well as cold tablets for the headache and runny nose. They texted throughout the week, and by the following Friday, quite recovered, Bianca convinced Janet to come over on Saturday for a lamb roast.

Six-thirty Saturday evening, the taxi pulled up outside Bianca’s place. Janet paid the driver, hurried to the door and rang the bell, full of anticipation. Bianca, wearing a huge smile, took her hand, pulled her inside and kissed her lightly. “Come on, we have guests I want you to meet.” Janet resisted. After more than a week apart, guests were definitely not what her anticipation was about. Brushing aside her enquiring look, Bianca kissed her again and led her into the lounge room.

As they came into the room, the two women sitting together on the lounge got up to be introduced. Bianca motioned toward the taller woman. “Janet, meet Rachel. And Alice.“ Much as she hated being caught off-guard, (and she was more than a little cranky with Bianca for doing it), Janet managed a broad smile and a warm greeting.

Rachel’s dark auburn hair fell in soft waves to her shoulders, her brown eyes kind and steady, her jaw-line square, strong. Alice was gorgeous. Light brown hair piled on top of her head, and hazel eyes that sparkled with mischief. Fleetingly, Janet wondered if there had ever been anything between her and Bianca. She turned to the woman she loved. “You tricky little sneak. So, this is why you insisted I come over for a lamb roast. ”

Bianca grinned. “Alice has been hassling me about meeting you. You wanted to know who Alice is, so what better way to get together than over a lamb roast?”  
Alice quipped, “Over a Big Mac?” Laughter all round. Janet and Rachel both wrinkled their noses in disgust. Rachel put an arm around Alice. “You can keep your Big Mac, I’ll take the roast thanks.” Alice removed the arm. “You know very well I was kidding.” She smiled at Janet. “We never go to Macca’s, just in case you think we’re junk addicts!” Janet smiled back. “Nothing wrong with a bit of junk now and then. But I’m with you - give Macca’s a miss.”

Mellow music was playing softly on the stereo, and Janet picked up the cover to check out the CD. “Duke Ellington, you’re into jazz, Bibi?” The pet-name slipped out naturally, bringing no reaction from either of the guests. For a moment, Bianca looked far-away. “My Dad loved jazz. This one, especially, reminds me of him. ‘Caravan’ was his all-time favourite.”

Alice reminisced, “Oh, yeah. We used to want him to take it off, so we could play Abba, or the Bee Gees, or Johnny O’Keefe. He’d tell us to go and play Monopoly! Secretly, we liked the jazz anyway.” The two friends laughed at the memory, but there was a flicker of sadness in Bianca’s eyes. Janet wondered what had happened to her lover’s father and silently chastised herself for not having asked about her parents. Alice continued, “Bianca was the Bee Gees tragic. We used to call her BG’” She grinned. “Goes with her initials.” Bianca chuckled. “Ryan still calls me BG sometimes.”

There had not been much music in the house when Janet was growing up and certainly no jazz. She turned the cover over. “Don’t know the music at all, but I like it so far.” Bianca was pleased. “Maybe we should expose the twins to some jazz!” Janet rolled her eyes. “If we can drag them away from Disney.” Rachel moved toward the kitchen. “We need to drag ourselves away to the hot stove, dinner is waiting.”

Alice and Janet set the table while Rachel and Bianca dished up. Her friends were obviously quite at home at Bianca’s place, making Janet wish she had visited more often. Rachel brought the gravy and the mint sauce, and sat next to Alice. Bianca poured the cabernet sauvignon the visitors had brought. Janet exclaimed. “Jacob’s Creek, my favourite. You told them!” Bianca shook her head and sat next to her. “No, I didn’t. I swear.” Janet looked sceptical, but, to their visitors, “Thank you, it’s perfect.”

After the meal, Bianca turned to Rachel. “Great roast, thanks for cooking.”  
“No problem, my pleasure. We must do it again at our place.”  
Janet looked both surprised and puzzled. Bianca explained, “Rachel is a chef. Works on a mine site in Queensland. How could I say ‘no’, when she offered to cook?” She quickly added, with a grin, “But I did the fruit platter!” Janet gave her a playful nudge with her shoulder. “Clever girl, did you need help?” Bianca returned the nudge. “No. Did it all by myself.” Janet turned to the chef. “Thanks, Rachel. It was delicious.” A teasing aside to Bianca, “And the fruit was just right, as well.” She pushed back her chair. “Now I guess we should clean up. Since Rachel cooked, I vote she’s excused from kitchen duty.” Bianca was quietly elated that Janet was so comfortable with her friends. “Yes, Rache, you choose the music while we clean up.”

Rachel replaced the jazz CD and as her choice started, Bianca and Alice said as one, “Oh, no, not the Bee Gees again!!”. Rachel put on a superior air. “You said I could choose, so BeeGees it is. Janet should get to choose next.” Janet winked at Rachel. “I like the Bee Gees, great choice. I haven’t heard them for years.” Alice sighed. “Ah well, looks as if we are defeated.” Bianca nodded. “We are.”

The three of them pitched in to clean up, while Rachel sang along with the music. By the time the kitchen was done, they were all singing along with “Islands in the Stream”. When the song finished, Bianca turned down the volume and asked who wanted tea or coffee. Three for coffee, tea for Bianca, as always. Janet played waitress to the two women sitting close together on the two-seater lounge, then joined Bianca on the three-seater.

Janet’s initial annoyance and discomfort had quickly been forgotten in the warm and witty company of Bianca’s friends. Rachel seemed to have an endless supply of side-splitting anecdotes from her work away. They sang, danced and clowned around to the music. As the final track was playing - a repeat of ‘You Should Be Dancing’, (and they were, Janet amazed at herself!), Alice reminded them it was Janet’s turn to choose. A look through the CDs, and Janet asked, “How about The Seekers?” Alice applauded. “Oh, yes please. Love them!”

Forty five minutes flew by in a flurry of jokes, laughter and singing. By the time it got to ‘Red Rubber Ball’ they had toned down the singing, as it was getting a bit late to be disturbing the neighbours. The next track was ‘I Am Australian’ - very hard to be restrained but they tried! Alice was the only one who knew all the words, and she really could sing. The others sang along with the chorus. Janet complimented Alice on her lovely voice and Rachel said, “Not bad, is she? Played Golde in the high school production of Fiddler.” Janet expressed her admiration and Alice took an exaggerated bow.

Then came ‘I’ll Never Find Another You’. Suddenly the mood was quiet, both couples absorbed in themselves. Janet melted under the undisguised ardour in Bianca’s eyes. Anticipation was back in full bloom. She glanced across at the other two women, who had eyes only for each other. The bouncy ‘Georgy Girl’ brought them all back, but the air was still charged. No doubting what was now on their minds. They talked little through the last three tracks. ‘A World of Our Own’, which perfectly fitted the mood, ‘The Carnival is Over’, a little too sad, and finally, ‘Keep a Dream in Your Pocket’ to restore the evening to the lively fun it had been.

When the music ended, Rachel stood, took Alice’s hand and pulled her to her feet. “Great song and It’s been a great evening. So good to meet you at last, Janet. Ready for home, darl?” Alice nodded. “Yes, great meeting you, Janet. I had been hassling Bianca. She’ll be glad to get me off her case. Thanks for having us, girls, it’s been so much fun. Next time, at our place.” They all agreed. Janet added, “I’m glad to have met you both, too. And it has been a lot of fun.”

The visitors had been lucky to park close by. Bianca and Janet walked them to the car and said their goodbyes amid promises of getting together again soon.

Back inside, as they sat close-up on the lounge, Janet pretended to be stern. “I was so annoyed with you for springing that on me!”  
“I knew you would be cranky. I also knew you would have a good time once you got over it. You did have a good time, didn’t you?” Janet tried to stay stern, but couldn’t. “You know I did. I haven’t laughed so much for a long time.”  
“I’ve never seen you let your hair down like that. I loved seeing that side of you.”  
Janet snuggled up. “I haven’t seen that side of you before, either. We do need to take time for fun.” They sat comfortably cuddled up until Janet broke the silence.  
“There are things I want to ask you.”  
Bianca held her hand. “Fire away.”  
“Did the three of you go to school together?’  
“No. Alice’s family moved to Wollongong at the end of year nine. That’s where she met Rachel”  
Janet hesitated, not at all sure she should ask, “Was there ever anything between you and Alice?”

Bianca stretched out, bringing Janet into her arms. “Do you remember I had to give Andy a security question when I went under-cover with Felix?” Janet spluttered, “How could I forget? First woman you kissed. Really!! You were flirting with me.” A satisfied smirk flitted across Bianca’s face. “I was, and you took off like a frightened rabbit.”

It dawned on Janet. “Alice is that woman?”  
“Yes, she is. Well, hardly a woman, at the time. We were a couple of fourteen year old kids, a bit confused about our sexuality and how attracted we were to each other. My Dad died that year. Alice wanted to be there for me, but I was a such a mess that pretty much everything fell apart. They moved to The Gong at the end of the year.”

“I’ve never even asked you about your parents. What happened to your dad?”  
“He was an engineer. He was killed in a construction site accident. Poor Mum, lost the love of her life, and had to deal with messed up teenage me, as well.”  
“Were you close to your dad?”  
“Very. Ryan was even closer. Strangely, he held up much better than I did. He had a very tight group of friends. It helped a lot that Helen was in that group, but it was a couple of years before they really got together.”

“And your Mum?” Bianca drew a slow breath. “Mum was asthmatic. She got the flu, ended up with pneumonia.” Her eyes filled and her voice faded. Janet went and got the tissue box. Bianca sat up, wiped her eyes, blew her nose, and continued. “Forty nine. Much too young to die.” A stray tear rolled down her cheek, and Janet dried it, tucked back a wisp of hair. “You still miss her. I’m so sorry. First your Dad, then your Mum. Both of them so young.” Bianca nodded. “I don’t think it matters how old you get, there will always be times when you miss your Mum. That’s if you’ve had any closeness at all.” A long pause, then, “You and Robyn are starting to get along. Make the most of it.”

“Oh, yes. We both regret our stubborn selfishness. Such a waste of all those years. So unfair that you had it taken away.” Bianca rested her head on Janet’s. “Life isn’t fair. Have to deal with whatever happens.” Janet held her tightly, her heart aching. She thought of Ryan, losing both parents and then his wife. So much loss. Too much.

They stayed locked in the embrace until Janet eased her hold. “Ready for bed?” Bianca closed her eyes, shook her head. “Not yet, let’s stay here a bit longer.” Janet cupped her face in her hands. “Are you ok?” Bianca opened her eyes. “Yes. Don’t look so worried. I get a bit emotional about Mum.” Janet kissed her brow. “I hate for you to be sad, but I’m glad you told me. Wish I’d asked before. I’m sorry it’s brought back painful memories.”  
“It’s ok. I want to us to share things. Even the painful stuff. Especially the painful stuff.”  
“So do I.”  
Bianca kissed her. “But that’s enough of sad.” Janet was still puzzled. “Alice moved away, so how come you’re in touch now?”  
“In ’99, we ran into each other at the Bee Gees concert at Olympic Park. We’ve kept in touch ever since. Alice was already with Rachel. They sure turned out to be the high-school sweethearts who lasted! We usually catch up for a meal and a chat when Rachel’s away. We’ve all been down to The Gong to see Alice’s parents, too. Rachel’s parents are in Tamworth now, so she doesn’t get to see them as often as she’d like.”

“I certainly didn’t need to worry about Alice. They’re so lovely together.” Bianca grinned. “If you even wondered, you sure were being silly. How could you think I would want anyone but you?” Janet took a deep breath. “In the bedroom, it’s just us in the world. Outside it, you often seem ….. wary?” Bianca bit her lip. “No, not wary, just taking time.” Janet moved away slightly. “I promised you all the time you need. And I promise not to be so stupid again. Now, it feels like hug time.” Bianca opened her arms. “Come here.”

As they lay wrapped together, Janet thought back to the night, not so long ago, when Bianca had wanted to hold her while she had talked about Ash. Why was it so hard her to commit? Then she thought further back, to the times she had shut her lover out, or brushed her off in her single-minded passion for one cause after another. There was good reason for Bianca needing time.

Janet pressed closer against her. “Back in ’99, when you ran into Alice again, I was with Ash. Was there someone in your life, too?” Bianca shook her head, grinned. “Didn’t come across any chemistry. Can you believe, I went to the concert with Helen and Ryan? A few years later, I met Fran. Now there, was some wild chemistry. We were together for three years, but she didn’t cope well with my crazy work hours and ended up finding someone else. After Fran, there really wasn’t anyone, until I shook the hand of a feisty lawyer called Janet King.”

Janet buried her head in Bianca’s shoulder. “I’ve heard of her. Some call her the Ice Queen.” Bianca chuckled, blew softly in her ear. “If they only knew.” She ran her fingers in slow strokes, through Janet’s hair. “I fell for you that first day. Waiting for the ice to thaw nearly killed me.” Janet took the caressing hand away, held it to her cheek. “You put a flame to it.” Bianca lifted the tousled blonde head from her shoulder. “Must have. Seems pretty warm around here to me.” Janet giggled. “Blazing, in fact.” Bianca kept the banter going. “Red hot chemistry.” Janet responded, “Irresistible.” Bianca slowly untucked Janet’s blouse. “Who wants to resist?” Janet giggled again, sliding her hand under Bianca’s t shirt. “Not me.” Bianca undid the top button and, with that little half smile, an adoring look in her eyes, “Irresistible wins.” A little gasp escaped Janet. “When you look at me like that,” they giggled again, finishing the sentence in unison, “all I can think about is taking you to bed.”

Slowly, they undressed each other, kissing softly, touching lightly, desire not yet urgent. No protest about looking being teasing tonight, as they lay exploring each other leisurely, without touching. At last, hands behind her head, Janet stretched, arching her back invitingly under her lover’s gaze. The invitation was ….. irresistible. Bianca brushed the waiting mouth with the merest suggestion of a kiss, lightly running the tip of her tongue over first the lower, then the upper lip. She groaned as Janet’s tongue met her own, and then found her lips. Janet pulled her in close, murmured, “Ravish me, woman.” Bianca nuzzled into her neck. “Only if you ravish me, too.”

Bianca extracted herself from their tangle of arms and legs, reaching for the glass of water on her bedside table. “You are thirsty work, hot woman!” Janet’s eyes widened in mock horror. “Work, is it? Work! And here I’ve thought all along that it was play!” She took the glass and sipped the water. “But I agree with the thirsty part.”

They sat facing each other, sharing the water. Janet put the glass back on the table, placed her hands on Bianca’s shoulders. “It’s so good going to sleep, and waking, with you beside me.” Bianca took her hands away, eased her onto the pillow and lay facing her. “I know. Give it time.” Janet turned over, snuggled back in. “And you also know patience is not my strong suit, but I’m doing my best.” Bianca kissed her nape. “Yes, you are. Now it’s time to sleep.”

  
Only half awake, Bianca became aware of the insistent vibration of her phone. By the time she got to it, the caller had gone. She sat bolt upright as she saw there were four unanswered calls from Rachel. At two-thirty in the morning! Fear gripped her. Something was very wrong for Rachel to be calling at this hour. Quietly she got out of bed, pulling on her t-shirt as she went to the living room and returned the call. “Rache, what’s wrong?” Rachel’s could hardly say the words. “We’ve been in an accident. I’m ok but Alice is hurt.” Bianca’s legs shook and she felt sick. “Where are you? I’ll come.”  
“St Vincent’s, still in Emergency. Alice is in theatre.”  
“I’ll call a taxi. Be there as quick as I can.” She made the call and went back to the bedroom, gently shook Janet. “Janet, wake up, there’s been an accident.” Janet heard ‘accident’ through the fog of sleep. “What accident? Is it the kids?”  
“No, no. Alice and Rachel. Rache is ok but Alice is hurt. I’m going to the hospital.” Now Janet was wide awake. “What happened?”  
“I don’t know. Will find out when I get there.”  
“Do you want me to come, too?” Bianca nodded. “Yes. Please. I’ve called the taxi. About fifteen minutes.” Enough time for chamomile and coffee. As they left, it occurred to Janet that they may need tissues, so she grabbed a carry bag and tossed in the tissue box.

Rachel broke down when she saw them. All Bianca could do was hug her until she could speak. “We were hit on the passenger side. Woman went through a red light. Alice took the full impact. She’d be dead without the airbags.” She tried to choke back the tears, but they trickled down her cheeks. Good thing that Janet had thought of the tissues. “What are her injuries?” Rachel’s face crumpled again but she managed to say, “They’re checking for internal. Her leg is gashed and broken. Shouldn’t be. Airbags should …” She choked up again and Bianca hushed her. “Sh, we’ll see when she comes out of surgery.”

Janet brought Rachel a cup of water. Her hand shook as she took the cup, Janet steadied it. The distraught woman gave her a grateful look, still couldn’t speak. Janet noticed a bruise and swelling above her wrist. “Are you sure you’re not hurt? Have you been checked out?” Rachel nodded, dismissed the bruise.

They sat in silence until Rachel was able to tell them that the four wheel drive had hit them at speed, caving in the front passenger side of their sedan, spinning it around and pushing it across the intersection. It had taken half an hour to stabilise Alice and get her out. “She was in so much pain. I was frantic. The ambos and the police were amazing. I couldn’t do either job.” Bianca kept her arm around her friend. “Alice was conscious the whole time?”  
“No. She passed out a few times while they were working on getting her out of the car. The ambos said it was probably from the pain and blood loss. She was conscious all the way here, and gave me as next of kin. I was terrified they wouldn’t accept it, but thank goodness they did.”

The wait seemed interminable, all the while more people presenting in ED. At last, a nurse came to get Rachel. “Alice is in Recovery, the doctor will see you now.” As she stood up, Rachel’s legs buckled and Bianca jumped up to support her. The nurse suggested Bianca come, too.

Saturday night was always busy in ED, and tonight was no exception. A drug affected young woman came in, screaming obscenities, flailing out at anyone who approached her. Blood trickled down her face from a cut above her eye. Janet shuddered, wondered how the staff put up with it, and went outside to escape the madness of the packed waiting room.

Less than ten minutes later, Bianca came up behind her, putting an arm around her. Janet hugged her. “How is she?”  
“It could have been a lot worse. They’ve fixed the fracture and stitched the gash. She has three cracked ribs and a lot of bruising down the left side. No head injury and no damage to any internal organs as far as they can see. She’ll need help for a while.”  
“No head or internal, that’s a relief. How’s Rachel holding up?”  
“She’s doing better now. They let her wait in Recovery and gave her a cuppa. Once Alice is awake and coherent, I’ll go home with Rachel and we’ll try to get some sleep. No point sitting here for the next few hours while Alice sleeps.” Janet nodded. “I’ll go home and get some sleep, too. The kids won’t be home until dinner time.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Take-away tonight, for sure.”

There was no let-up in ED. The steady stream of people continued, as well as Ambulances pulling in one after another, banking up as the ED was overwhelmed.

The weather was mild, a pleasant night outside. An hour passed. Back inside, the two women were in awe of the way the staff handled the relentless pressure. Rachel was still with Alice, so they went outside again to escape the continuing trauma.

Bianca leaned against Janet. “How do they do it? I thought police work was tough but I wouldn’t want to do a shift in there.” Janet linked arms. “Neither would I. We can see Alice is in good hands. She should be waking up. Rachel will find us out here.”  
“Yes, she will.” Motioning towards the crowded ED. “We don’t need to be in amongst that.”

It was not long before Rachel, looking relieved, came to find them. “She’s come round. Groggy, but making sense.” With a tired little smile, “Thanks for waiting.” Bianca rolled her eyes. “Of course we waited. What if I take you home home now, and we get some sleep? Alice will sleep for a few hours, and you can’t do anything here.” Reluctantly, Rachel agreed and went to tell Alice, while the others called the taxis.

Janet let herself in to the empty house, kicked off her shoes and fell in an exhausted heap on the lounge, too tired to even think of climbing the stairs. But her jangled mind wouldn’t turn off, and when at last she drifted off, sleep was restless, filled with disjointed dreams. She awoke three hours later feeling very ragged. Two cups of coffee and a slice of toast later, she felt almost human again and rang Robyn. They agreed on take-away for dinner. Robyn would pick it up on the way over.

Next, she sent Bianca a message. “Managed some sleep, hope you have, too. Love you. xx” With any luck they might still be sleeping, their phones on mute. Then she headed upstairs to shower, letting the hot water running through her hair and soothing her tense, aching body. Much as she would have liked to stay under the flow, she was mindful of the state being in the grip of a severe drought, and didn’t linger. Wrapping herself in a towel, she went and sat on her bed, suddenly feeling very sad. Refusing to dwell on it, she got dressed, went downstairs and rustled up a snack. Hopefully, Bianca would call soon.

Alice and Rachel’s apartment was colourfully decorated and warmly welcoming. In the lounge-room were two recliner chairs and two two-seater lounges. No lounge long enough to sleep on. There was no awkwardness between the two friends in stretching out side-by-side on the queen-size bed. Rachel patted Bianca’s hand. “Thanks for all this. So glad you weren’t out hunting crims.” Bianca squeezed her hand. “Me, too. And I’m glad you rang me. That’s what friends are for.” Rachel had taken pain-killers for her damaged wrist and was getting sleepy. “You’re a true friend, Grieve. And I like your Janet, too.” She fell asleep, but Bianca lay awake, too wound-up to sleep.

Even in her sleep, Rachel’s brow was furrowed. As she looked at her friend’s strained face, Bianca’s thoughts were falling over each other. “Shit, Rache. You must be such a mess inside. What if it were Janet and I had been driving? Oh, God, Janet. Why am I stuffing you around? I have to accept you as you are. My career decision is right, I know it is. Have to tell you about it.”  
Try as she might, she couldn’t stop the jumble of thoughts and eventually got up and drank chamomile. The recliner chair was very comfortable and sleep finally came.

When Rachel woke up, she wondered why she had such a thumping headache. Then it all came flooding back. Must get to the hospital. Bianca must be up already. She got up quickly, dashed to the bathroom, then put the kettle on. The noise woke Bianca and she brought the recliner upright, kicking down the footrest.

Rachel turned. “There you are! Did you end up getting some sleep?” Bianca’s grin was tired. “Not much, but I can sleep at home later, while you’re with Alice. How are you feeling?”  
“Pretty crap.” She winced as she picked up a cup with her injured hand, forced a rueful smile. “I don't think I’ll be going back to work on Wednesday.”  
“Oh, yes, you’re due to fly out. You’re going to need at least a few days off.”  
“Yeah, I’d better ring in now. Give them time to arrange relief.” A wry smile. “A one-handed chef isn’t much use. I’ll see if I can get a week. Have to sort out how Alice is going to cope, too. I hope she’ll stay with her parents when I go back.”

Rachel made the phone call and her HR manager, very concerned, told her to take whatever time she needed to fully recover. Bianca shooed her to shower. “I’ll make the tea and rustle up something to eat.” But first, she must check in with Janet.

  
Janet had been aimlessly wandering around the house, anxious for the call. When at last the phone rang, she answered quickly. “Darling, did you get some sleep?”  
“Not much. Got your message.” And softly, “Love you, too. Did you sleep?”  
“A bit, but not well. How’s Rachel?”  
“Still very pale and her wrist is pretty sore. She’s arranged some time off.”  
“Well, that’s good. Give them time to work out how to deal with it.”  
“When Rachel does go back to work, she’s hoping Alice will go to The Gong and stay with her parents.”  
“Sounds like a good plan. Are you going back to the hospital now.”  
“As soon as we’ve showered and had something to eat. Rachel’s in the shower now. I’ll drop her off and go home to get some gear. They don’t need me hanging around.”  
“What if I pick you up, drop Rachel at the hospital, and take you home?” Janet sounded even more rattled than Bianca felt, but the priority was to get Rachel to the hospital. They could sort themselves out later. “I’d love that. Come over as soon as you’re ready.”

They didn’t talk much on the drive back to Bianca’s place after dropping Rachel at the hospital. Bianca was feeling a scramble of emotions, but not the degree of anxiety she sensed in Janet. It was almost like she was when they had been to the Sydney Memorial. Why was she so upset? Alice would have a difficult time for a few weeks, but she wasn’t in any danger. Well, as far as they knew, she wasn’t. Bianca didn't dwell on that thought.

As soon as they were inside the front door, Janet buried her head in Bianca’s shoulder. Bianca held her close and waited, not wanting to rush her. When finally she lifted her head, her eyes were brimming with tears. A lot had happened in the past month and this strong, feisty lawyer she loved was clearly fragile.

“You sit there.” Sitting her at the table. “I’ll make us some tea. You can have chamomile, my girl, it will help calm you.” Janet gave her a watery smile and screwed up her nose. “Bossy Bibi.” But she didn’t argue, dried her eyes and blew her nose. “I’m ok now.”  
“No you’re not. And little wonder. It’s been one thing after another over the past few weeks. All heaped on top of old wounds you are still trying to deal with.”

Janet conceded, very quietly. “You’re right. I’m not ok. I feel like a weight is on my head, pushing me into the ground.” Bianca was surprised by the admission, especially that it was so readily made. Not so long ago, Janet would not have been able to do that.

She set the mugs of tea on the table and, with her little half-smile, “Am I going to have to tell you to drink up, like I did the last time?” Janet sipped the tea. “It’s very good. I might have it more often…. Or not.” Bianca was not about to be side-tracked. “Sweetheart, I worry about you. You might need to take a break. Maybe go somewhere exotic.” Another little smile. “Fiji?” Janet shot her an appreciative look, remembering. “Thanks for that little reminder, we did have a good time. But I need to keep busy. Can’t run away. And I have two children to think of.”  
“It wouldn’t be running away, you goose. More like re-charging the batteries. You must have plenty of leave up your sleeve.”  
“Oh, yes, I could take leave, but what would I do? Hang around the house? I don’t think so, and I really do have to keep things stable for the twins.”

Bianca thought of the change she had in mind, and hesitated, wondering if this would be the wrong time to bring it up, then decided to jump in feet first.  
“There’s something I’ve been mulling over for a while, and this might be a good time to talk about it.” Janet looked fearful. “Am I going to like it?” Bianca grinned. “You might be a bit shocked.”  
“Tell me!”  
“I’ve been thinking of a change of career. I reckon I’m pretty much done with being a cop.”

It had never occurred to Janet that Bianca would want to give up police work. “Wow! That’s a shock all right! What’s brought this on?”  
“It’s been on my mind for quite a while. Too much trauma, too many guns, too many odd hours.” Janet reached for her hand. “So why now? Do you have something else in mind?”  
“I’d like to get into IT, but not with the police. I’ve done a fair bit in that area in the past few years and I’m pretty good at it. What do you reckon? Can you see yourself hanging out with a computer nerd?” An exaggerated frown. “Dunno about that, you might spend more time with Liam than with me. Seriously, it’s your decision. If it’s what you want, go for it.” She tried again. “But why now?”

“Technology is moving so fast that if I don’t do it now, it will pass me by, and I really want to have a crack at it. I’ve got long service leave due, as well as three weeks accrued annual leave. That’s why I was pressured to take some of it. I’m thinking I’ll resign when I go back to work.”

Janet was doubtful. “Wouldn’t it be better to keep your job, in case it doesn’t work out?”  
“No, I need to make a clean break. There’s one job that’s mine if I want it, but I’m not going to jump in. Maybe do some freelance work while I suss out the possibilities, and there are a couple of on-line courses I want to do.”

Janet got up. “Phew, come and sit on the lounge. I need to cuddle.” Bianca grinned. “I thought you might. So do I.” Janet, her mind racing, wondered if anything else might be behind Bianca’s idea. Before she could ask, Bianca held her hands and continued. “There’s an added bonus, too. There would be more time for us. I could take more care of you.”

Janet bristled slightly. “I’m not a little kid!” She tried to pull her hands away, but Bianca wouldn’t let her. “Now you’re being daft again. Not the Janet who said she wanted me to help. We know you’re not over all the trauma you’ve been through. And now, look how Alice’s accident has thrown you.” Janet stiffened up. “And who’s going to look after you?” Bianca sighed. Was this the old Janet back again? No way! She kissed the top of her head. “When I need looking after, I hope it will be you.” Janet looked sheepish. “Mum reckons I can be exasperating. Sorry. It’s just hard for me to think I might need looking after.” She moved back in close. “I’m so tired.”  
“Me, too. We need to have a lie-down, try to get some sleep.”

Janet pulled Bianca to her feet. “We do. Somehow, I feel kind of guilty that we were making love last night while those two were getting smashed into. And when they left here, they seemed to have the same thing on their minds.” Bianca nodded. “I feel like that, too. And yes, there was a lot of love in the air. It’s all pretty scary and unsettling.”

It was so good to sink back into the bed they had left in such a hurry just a few hours ago. They lay facing each other, tired but not really sleepy. Bianca tucked back stray wisps of blonde hair. Janet took the hand, kissed the palm. “No pressure, but you are sounding very permanent.” Bianca kissed the back of the hand holding hers. “The accident has thrown me, too. I can’t imagine being without you, but this isn’t the right time to move in.”  
“If you go ahead with your plans, it would make sense to save the rent.”  
“I’ve taken a three month extension on my lease. Anyway, leaving the job, trying something new, is going to be a big upheaval. It’ll take time to get everything worked out. I want to be more or less settled when we take that step. And there’s Emma. I’ll be able to put more time into doing fun things with her. Then when I come home, she’ll only have to share you with Liam.”  
Janet mused. “When we take that step. When. I like the sound of that.” Bianca kissed her lightly. “All this can wait until later. We need to get some sleep before it’s home for you, hospital for me.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What started as a "little story", has become something of a saga!  
> At this point I want to give grateful thanks to halstead2940, my friend, mentor and editor, without whose love and encouragement, from the other side of the world, I would never have begun, much less be posting a fifth chapter.

It was Indian Curry night at Janet’s place. Ian was back in town and it was the get-together Robyn had been keen to have. The kids took an instant shine to Ian, dragging him off to see their latest projects. After dinner, Bianca and Ian cleaned up while Robyn and Janet took care of bath-time and stories. Ian seemed to have even more jokes than Rachel, so there was a lot of hilarity to go with the clean-up. Bianca threw in a few anecdotes of her own for good measure.

After stories, the twins came down to say their goodnights, then reluctantly went back upstairs to bed. Robyn and Janet came down as Ian and Bianca set mugs of tea and coffee on the table. Grinning broadly, Robyn pulled up a chair. Janet raised an eyebrow. “What are you up to, Mum? You look like the cat that got the cream.” As Ian sat next to her, Robyn turned to him. “Do you think we should tell them now?” His grin was even bigger. “You won’t be able to contain yourself, so get on with it.” 

Robyn, eyes dancing, announced, “We’re getting married.” Janet was delighted. “That’s no surprise, I though you would. Congratulations. I think it’s wonderful.” Bianca added her congratulations. Janet reached across and patted Ian’s hand. “I couldn’t be happier, but I don’t think I’ll call you Dad.” He chuckled. “Ian will do quite nicely, thank you.”  
“That’s settled then. Have you decided when?” They both shook their heads and Robyn answered, “Not yet. Some logistics involved wouldn’t you say? And Amy is talking about coming home, so we’ll see what she has in mind. Would be nice if everyone could be there.”

What with busy lives, and the time difference, the sisters hadn’t been in touch much since Amy had been in Belgium. “Oh, that is exciting. We talk occasionally, but I haven’t seen her in ten years. I’ll definitely have to give her a call. Did she say if she’ll come back to Sydney?” Robyn shook her head again. “No, just that Europe isn’t what is was, and she’s thinking of coming home.” 

Ian had a second cup of tea, they chatted a while longer, then Robyn pushed back her chair and stood up. “Think we’ll leave you two love-birds to it. C’mon Mr Green, time to go home.” Ian stood, too, put an arm around Robyn. “Agreed, soon-to-be-Mrs Green.” Janet quipped, “I reckon you’re the ones with first claim to the love-birds tag!” 

As they said goodbye at the door, Janet put her hand on Robyn’s arm. “Give me a call when you get home.” Robyn squeezed her hand, aware of her daughter’s anxiety since Alice and Rachel’s accident. “Of course. Thanks for dinner.” Janet squeezed back. “There’ll be lots more, but this one will always be extra special.”  
She teared-up as she watched them walk hand-in-hand to the car. “Mr and Mrs Green, eh? No “Ms” for her. Surprises me a bit.” 

Bianca drew her inside, shut the door, hugged her around the waist, lifting her off her feet and swinging her around. “They are so good together. I’m so thrilled for them.” Janet hung on tight around her neck. “Me, too.” Bianca put her down and kissed her. Janet responded with urgency, then started giggling.  
“What?”  
“Your wanting to get the lust out of the way flashed into my mind. We were standing right here. What do you reckon now?” Bianca grinned, pulled her in hard, as she had done that Sunday. “Call it what you like. It’s a good idea.” But Janet was still giggling and Bianca’s attempts to be serious, failed dismally. They ended up in a playful tangle on the rug in front of the lounge, until Janet finally extricated herself and announced that they really should go to bed. Bianca agreed. “After all, there are children in the house!” Both women spluttered again, but it was true that they kept their love-making to the bedroom when the twins were home. They were halfway upstairs when Robyn texted: “Home safe”. 

Her mind at rest, Janet bounded up the remaining stairs two at a time. “Come on, slow-coach. We have unfinished business.” Bianca, now at her side, bundled her toward the bed, sliding her hands under the blue t-shirt that went so well with Janet’s compelling blue eyes. “Now what business might that be, Ms King? I don’t think I need any legal advice.” Janet whispered close to her ear, “Smart-arse. Get your gear off.” And again they collapsed in a giggly heap, clothes landing piece by piece on the floor. Janet ran her fingers lightly down Bianca’s spine. “God, I love you, Bianca Grieve.” Bianca kissed the tip of her nose. “I know.”  
“Oh, do you now? Wrong answer.” With a wicked grin, Bianca rolled onto her back, pulling Janet on top. “I didn’t know it was a quiz. Let me think. …” Janet nuzzled into her neck. “I want to hear you say it.” Bianca ran her fingers through her lover’s hair, the other hand firmly in the small of her back. “Darling, I love you.” Janet rolled away, propped on one elbow, smiling sweetly. “Correct answer!” She traced lazy circles around Bianca’s breast. “But sometimes I think it’s too good to be true.” With a moan of delight, Bianca pulled her back on top, nibbled the lobe as she breathed in her ear, “Me, too…. Now what was that about unfinished business?” 

On Sunday morning Bianca went home, relieved that the coming week would be her last with the AFP. Impatient as she was to throw herself into the world of IT, she must first deal with the handover to her replacement officer. Tying up as many loose ends as possible, while at the same time keeping up with day-to-day events, was draining, and she would be glad to get it over with.

To her surprise, the week flew by without a major hitch, and when she walked out of the building for the last time, it was with a feeling of satisfaction, job well-done. During that last week, she had met with work colleagues at their favourite pub for a farewell drink and a few laughs. No partying, just a get-together with mates. It was. of course, impossible to have everyone together at once, so it had been spread over three evenings. Now, as she left forever, all she wanted was to get home to Janet and the twins. 

As she got to her car, she stopped, taking one last look around the parking area, then her focus again shifted to Janet, and it came to her that she was thinking of Janet’s place as “home”. She smiled to herself and thought, “Not quite yet, but soon.” For now, a celebratory dinner with Janet and the kids. 

When they had talked about the dinner through the week, Liam had asked, “What’s should we have, Bibi?” Emma piped up, “Bibi’s favourite. Lamb roast!” Bianca grinned. “That might be a bit hard on a week night.” Liam had the solution. “No it’s not. We can get it from the roast take-away.” Not to be out-done by Emma’s suggestion, Liam had dessert sorted. “And we can make fresh fruit salad after school. That’s your favourite, isn’t it, Bibi? With ice-cream.”  
“Yes, it is. Between you, you’ve worked out the perfect dinner. I can’t wait.” Perhaps Emma was finally coming around, albeit slowly. Bianca was still very unsure around Janet’s daughter.

Now, finished with the AFP, she headed “home” for the celebration. They all enjoyed the lamb roast and, true to their word, the twins had made the fruit salad. When it was bedtime, Liam asked, “Are you sad that you’re not a cop any more, Bibi?” She smiled and hugged him. “No, Liam, I’m not sad. I’m glad I won’t be chasing bad guys. Now off you go.” She made sure to include Emma. “And thanks again, you two, for sorting the celebration.” They both looked very pleased with themselves and scampered upstairs to bed.

Three weeks after going home from hospital, Alice had needed a second operation. Fortunately, it was Rachel’s week off and they had a few days together at home after the surgery. Bianca and Janet had brought takeaway for dinner one night, and the company cheered Alice up no end. Her Mum took her back to Wollongong on the day Rachel flew out again. 

Rachel’s roster was two weeks on, one week off and when she came home the next time, she went straight to Wollongong to be with Alice. The best option for Alice was to stay with her parents, but it meant the two women would see very little of each other over the next few months while she recovered. Rachel had been working remote for three years, their plan being that she would do one more year, then they would buy a camper-van and take a working holiday around Oz. That was on hold now - it was a stroke of good luck that Rachel’s contract ran out after her next away shift, so she decided not to renew it, and come home to Sydney.

While she was away on her last shift, Alice’s parents, Joe and Sofia, needed to stay in Sydney overnight to attend a function. They had two dogs, a cat and four guinea pigs, and as Alice was still having difficulty getting around, Bianca had offered to come and give a hand, bringing Janet and the twins, too. They would come down on Saturday and return to Sydney when Joe and Sophia got home on Sunday. Emma and Liam were beyond excited about playing with the dogs.

On Friday, Liam had woken up with a fever and a very sore throat, which turned out to be tonsillitis. When he was still not well next morning, it looked like Bianca would go on her own. Emma was almost in tears with disappointment. “Couldn’t Uncle Tony come and stay with Liam? Then we could go, too.” Liam glared at her. Janet beckoned her to follow her upstairs, where she sat her on the bed. “That was very mean, Em. Would you like it if you were sick and Liam said that?” Emma dropped her eyes, shook her head. Janet continued. “I’m sure Bianca would be happy to pick you up and take you, if you really want to go.” Her daughter’s eyes flew up. “I want you to come.”  
“We can’t always have what we want, Em. Bianca’s almost ready to leave, so make up your mind.” “Bianca might not want to take me.” Janet lifted her off the bed and hugged her. “You won’t know unless you ask her, but decide now. You can use my phone here if you want to. I need to get back to Liam.” She took her phone out of her pocket and gave it to Emma, then went downstairs to check on her brother. 

Emma sat back on the bed, staring at the phone in her hand. Did she want to go so much that she would ask Bibi to take her? Playing with the dogs seemed better than being cooped up inside with her sick brother, so she took a deep breath and called Bianca. “Hi, Bibi, it’s me, Emma. Can I come with you to see Alice? Mum says I can come if it’s ok with you.” Bianca was astonished - the attraction of dogs! “I’d love for you to come, Em. I know you packed last night, so have you gear ready, and I’ll pick you up in about half an hour.” 

When Bianca arrived, Liam was cuddled up in a blanket on the lounge, feeling too miserable to complain about Emma going without him. Bianca assured him, “We’ll go again for you, mate.” He nodded, throat too sore to talk. Bianca and Emma loaded the car and set off.

On the highway heading to Wollongong, a brilliant rainbow met the ocean and swept to the hills. Slowly, the fainter reflection appeared above it. Emma was beside herself with excitement. “Look Bibi, a double rainbow. Oh, look, look! It IS like in the mirror, just like you said. I’m going to draw another one, with the colours the right way around, and this time the first one will be bright colours.” Seemed she was over the tantrum sparked by Bianca’s comments about her previous drawing.

Concentrating all her attention on the wet road, Bianca didn’t see the delight on the child’s face. Still cautious around the little girl, Bianca smiled and said, “Amazing isn’t it? Doubles don’t happen very often, and you’ve seen two in just a few weeks. Why don’t you take a photo on my phone?”  
“Can I? Really?” Bianca nodded. “Sure you can.” Emma took the phone from its cradle and clicked away. “Now I can show Mum and Liam.”

By the time they got to The Gong, Sofia and Joe had already left for Sydney. Alice’s 13 year old niece, Mia, had stayed overnight and rushed out to give Bianca a big hug. “Hey, Bianca, you haven’t been down for ages. You should come more often.” Bianca winked at her. “I’ve been a bit busy working, but now that I’ve left the police force, I just might do that.”  
“Oooh, I hope so. We could go out in the boat again.” 

Emma was a little shy meeting Alice and Mia, but the older girl soon put her at ease, carting her off to meet the animals. Mitzy, the tortoiseshell cat, disdainfully stalked off and hid under a rosemary bush. Emma was intrigued by the guinea pigs, but what she really wanted was to play with the dogs, Jezza and Belle. Mia found a ball, and to Emma’s delight, Jezza tirelessly played chase-and-fetch. Belle wasn’t quite as energetic, but did run around with a rope in her mouth, occasionally bringing it to be thrown. 

When Bianca called them to help with lunch, Emma scowled but Mia was happy to go in. “Ok, Bianca.” And to Emma, “I love Bianca. Wish she lived down here.” Emma shrugged. “You can have her.” Mia was taken aback, but didn't respond. Maybe she would ask Emma about it later, before her parents came to pick her up.

The two girls cleaned up after lunch, then went back to playing with the dogs. Jezza finally gave up on chasing the ball, had a big drink, and lay panting under a tree. Mia and Emma flopped down next to the dog. Belle came running over for some attention and Emma was more than happy to make a fuss of her. “I wish we could have a dog. We don’t have a yard, and anyway Mum’s always at work.”  
“Won’t Bianca be around more, now that she’s not a cop any more?”  
“Mum wants her to live with us.” She concentrated on the dog for a moment, then blurted, “I don’t!”  
“Why ever not?”  
“I just don’t.”  
“How about your brother, what does he think?” Emma pouted. “Oh, Liam loves Bianca. He’s her favourite.” Mia gave the younger girl a friendly nudge with her shoulder. “Bullshit! You’re just jealous.” Emma’s eyes widened. “Are you allowed to swear?”  
“Course not. Are you gonna tell?”  
“Course not. And I’m NOT jealous!!” Mia grinned. “Yes you are. I was jealous of my brother when he was little, said I hated him.” Emma’s cheeks flushed. “Why were you jealous?”  
“I was the only one for seven years. Luke turned up and I had to share. I thought Mum didn’t love me any more and I was a little shit.” Mia was teasing Emma with the swearing, but she was soft-hearted and felt sorry for her. “Bianca came to visit and told me some stuff about love.” 

Emma wasn’t impressed and asked tersely, “Like what?” The hostility didn’t deter the older girl.  
“Lots of stuff. Like Mum loves both of us and I shouldn’t be jealous. I said I wasn’t jealous, but Bianca knew I was. Said there’s plenty of love for everyone, you just gotta use it. Lots of other stuff. Next time she came I was playing with Luke in the sandpit. She just winked at me and grinned.” 

Emma chewed her lip. “I don’t want Mum to love Bianca.” Jezza was up and ready to play chase again, so Mia tossed the ball. “My Mum loves my Dad, and she loves Luke and me, too. It’s the same with your family.” Emma twisted her hair around her fingers. “I don’t like Bianca telling me what to do.” Mia groaned. “Yeah. I hate being told what to do, too. My parents are always on my case. Both of them. Some of my friends get away with stuff by going to their Dad when Mum says no. Doesn’t work for me. I just get a bigger no. Come on, let’s see if we can get Mitzy to come out.”

Before they could go looking for the cat, Mia’s parents, Tom and Julie, arrived. Bianca made tea and they all sat around the table chatting until Tom announced that it was time to go. Mia jumped up to go and get her things. “Come on Emma.” The younger girl, again shy at meeting more new people, willingly tagged along. Her things were in the room, too, as she would be sleeping there tonight. 

Emma helped Mia take her stuff to the car and said, a bit awkwardly, “Thanks for playing with the dogs.”  
“It was fun. Hope you come again soon and bring Liam. He can hang out with Luke.”  
“Where is Luke?”  
“Oh, he’s over at his mate’s place. We’ll pick him up on the way home.”  
“It’s good down here. Lots easier to get around than in Sydney.” Mia grinned mischievously. “There you go, get your Mum to move down here. That way I might get to have Bianca here, too.” Emma started to frown, then got that the other girl was kidding, so pulled a face, poking out the tip of her tongue. They both laughed. Julie and Tom were in the car, ready to go. “Come on Mia, get in.” Bianca turned to Mia, gave her a hug. “We’ll try to come back soon. In you get.” 

When they had disappeared from sight, Bianca put a hand on Emma’s shoulder as they went back to Alice on the verandah. She was pleased that the little girl didn’t flinch or pull away, seeming happy enough with the contact. Emma was keen to play with the dogs again, but Alice suggested that Bianca show her how to help with the guinea pigs. Anything to do with the animals had Emma excited and enthusiastic. Cleaning out their secure run, was the first job. Enthusiasm soon waned, as she screwed up her nose at the mess. “They look all soft and cuddly, but you can’t even pick them up. Why would anyone want them?” Bianca laughed. “Good question, Em. Sofia loves them. She picks them up. Not for me.” They put in the separate bowls of green feed, and some guinea pig kibbles, and refilled the two water bowls. Watching the fluffy little rodents darting around, scattering the food as they ate, Emma shuddered. “Look, they’ve made a mess again already. And they’re pooping everywhere! Yuck, it’s disgusting! Liam reckoned he wanted them. In the house! Glad Mum said no.”

Bianca chuckled. “Yes, your Mum told me. Liam might be glad, too, if he had to do this job.”  
Her face alight with mischief, Emma giggled. “Ooooh, yes. He would hate it. I hope we come back soon.” Bianca laughed. “He probably won’t get a turn. Rachel isn’t going to be working away any more after this time, so Alice will be coming back to Sydney. Might be a while before we come again. And Sofia will be here to do the guinea pigs.” The little girl was disappointed, but still full of mischief. “Maybe they’ll need to come to Sydney again, and we could come down with Alice to look after the animals.”  
“You never know, Em, that could happen.” 

Having checked that the enclosure was secure, they played ball with Jezza for a while, then went back into the house, followed closely by both dogs. To Emma’s surprise, Mitzy showed up, too, purring and rubbing against her leg. She bent down to pat her, but the cat took off and sat on a chair. “Not very friendly. I’d much rather have the dogs.”  
“When she gets used to you, she’ll suddenly land on your lap, wanting to be made a fuss of. Have to watch that those claws don’t get into you, cos she paws at you.”  
“Well, I hope she doesn’t get used to me.”

Alice was resting. The effort of getting around was tiring, and she needed to lie down most afternoons. Quietly, they went to their rooms, so as not to disturb her, but Alice called out that she wasn’t asleep and to come in. Emma still felt awkward around Alice, and asked if she could go and sort out her stuff, leaving the two friends to catch up on each other’s news. 

The youngster set up her drawing gear on the kitchen table and started on the rainbow drawing, first sketching the two bows in pencil. Before filling in the colours, she coloured a blue patch on the left of the page for the ocean, and some dark green hills on the right, where the bows merged with the land. Next a few lighter green trees on the hillsides and then a road with square-looking cars going in each direction. Finally she coloured the two rainbows, putting the finishing touches as the friends came into the kitchen to see what she was up to.

They both admired the drawing, saying what a great job the little girl had done. Emma tried not to show how pleased she was with the praise, but she couldn’t hide the satisfied little smile. Shyly she thanked them, saying to Bianca, “I got them the right way round this time, Bibi.”  
“You sure did, and the colours are balanced just right, too. Good job.”  
“I’ll pack it away now. Can I help get dinner ready?” Bianca could hardly believe it. Real progress. Did she dare hope that Emma was at last beginning to accept her?

After dinner, Alice asked Emma if she would like some screen time, which the child jumped at.  
“Do you want to watch TV, or a DVD? We have ‘Frozen’. Ah, but that might make your bedtime too late.” Alice looked at Bianca for confirmation, as Emma asked, “Can’t we watch it? Pleeease? It’s Sunday tomorrow.” Bianca winked at Alice. “I think we can make an exception. But you’d better have a shower and get ready for bed first, Em.”  
“Thanks, Bibi.” And as she rushed off to get ready. “Wait till I tell Liam!” 

Alice got settled on the lounge and Bianca poured them a wine, sat on the floor next to Alice. “I’m so glad we came down. This is progress with Em. And much as I don’t want Liam to be crook, it’s been a bonus to be just Em and me. Everything crossed that we’ve turned the corner.”

The rest of their stay was more than Bianca could possibly have hoped for, with no negative vibes at all from Emma. When they arrived home on Sunday afternoon, Liam was much better - well enough to be peeved that he had missed out, his mood not helped by Emma’s excited recounting of the weekend’s activities. Especially that she had been allowed to stay up late. At that revelation, Janet pretended surprise, but she already knew, as Bianca had told her about the progress with Emma when she had rung last night, to say goodnight.

Emma couldn’t show them her drawing of the rainbow because she had given it to Alice, and it was now displayed on Sofia’s fridge. But she showed them the photos, and promised to do another drawing for Janet.

 

Bath-time and stories all done (Emma had asked, “one last story, Bibi”), the two kids were finally asleep. The women had just finished cleaning up after dinner, when Ryan rang. “Hey, BG, how would you like to come up and give Spencer a hand for a couple of weeks?” Spencer was Ryan’s closest friend. Bianca had been to BBQs at his place several times. “Why? What’s going on? Is he crook?”  
“No, no. Will, his IT man, got hit in the eye at cricket and will be out of action, probably for two weeks. I had mentioned in passing your change of direction and he thought you might be interested. If you are, the sooner the better.”  
“I sure am. I’ll talk to Janet and get back to you.”  
“I take it that means it’s still going well with her. You can fill me in later.”  
“Sure. Back shortly.”

While Bianca was on the phone, Janet sat on the lounge, fidgeting with her wine glass. “What was that about?” she asked, as Bianca came and sat close to her. After explaining the situation, she kissed Janet lingeringly. “So, are you going to stress if I go?” Janet looked a little sheepish. Then with a quirky little smile, “I’ll try not to.” Bianca grinned. “You’re having me on.” Searching Janet’s face, “You are having me on, aren’t you?” Janet put the tips of her fingers to Bianca’s lips. “Of course you must go. Bad luck for Will, but a good start for you. Better get back to Ryan.” Her lover took the hand from her lips, kissing the fingertips one by one. “It will only be two weeks. Maybe three, but unlikely.”  
“You’re giving me ideas, woman. Sort your travel and call your brother.”

Bianca booked her flight, and let Ryan know that she could come the next afternoon. Snuggling up to Janet, she went back to kissing the fingertips. “It will be good to spend time with Ryan, but I’m going to miss you, Janet King.”  
“I know.”  
“Oh, do you? Wrong answer.” They kept up the reverse banter until Janet finally conceded, “Ok, ok, I’ll miss you, too.” A crooked little smile. “I’m getting too used to having you around.”  
“And I’m getting too used to being around.” Eyes filled with emotion, she held both Janet’s hands to her lips. “By the time I get back, my lease will be almost up. I think it’s time for me to move in. Should I notify my agent?” Janet was taken by surprise. “I thought you wanted to take some time to get set up.”  
“Stuff all that. I want to be with you. And the kids. We can work things out as we go along. Like everyone does.” A couple of tears trickled down Janet’s face and Bianca kissed them away. “I thought you’d be happy,” she teased. 

They talked for a while about the move and how they would work together to make it comfortable for the twins. Both women were relieved at the progress with Emma, cautiously confident that she would come to love Bianca, just as Liam did.

It was with a sense of oneness that they finally stirred to get ready for bed. No more words, no blazing passion, a leisurely sensual enjoyment of each other. Pushing away thoughts of the impending separation, they drifted off easily into the sound sleep of secure contentment

Janet opened her eyes, turned her gaze to the sleeping woman beside her, elated that she would soon be there each morning. “So, at last you trust me, my Bibi.” she thought, not realising that she said it out loud. Eyes still closed, Bianca reached for her. “Yes, m’love, I do. I’m sorry I’ve stuffed you around.” Janet gave her a playful slap. “Don’t be daft. You needed time. I had work to do.” With a little catch in her voice. “Still a work in progress.” Eyes now open, Bianca returned the playful slap. “You’re doing just fine. WE, are a work in progress.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed. “Time to rise and shine. I’ll get you lot off, then straight back to my place to get organised.”

Ryan hugged his little sister as they waited for her luggage. “This is a bonus. Didn’t expect to have you again so soon. Dinner is at Spencer’s place. Di insisted. Nothing flash - barbie and salad.” He picked up her case from the carousel and they made their way to the car. As they left the parking lot, he glanced at his sibling. “Now, tell me all about this thing with your Janet.”

Bianca brought him up to date and when she told him she was planning to move in, he breathed a loud sigh of relief. “Phew, that’s the best news I’ve had in quite a while. I hope she’s worth your faith in her.”  
“She is.” Her cheeks flushed faintly. “I can’t imagine being without her. Alice and Rachel’s accident made me realise it. Janet has faced a lot of things, too.”  
“And the kids?”  
“They’ll be fine. Emma has come around a lot. Just the two of us for the weekend in The Gong looks like being the turning point. Doing fun things with her is the plan.” Ryan nodded. “All sounds good. Kids need stability.”

The BBQ with Spencer and Di was very enjoyable. After a cuppa and a chat, Di suggested an early night, since Bianca had been rushed and was looking tired. Bianca agreed that she was feeling weary and needed to get a good night’s sleep. Spencer chipped in, “Yes, don’t want you falling asleep on the job!” Bianca rolled her eyes. “Not likely, with you cracking the whip.”

Will’s injury was worse than expected, and Bianca did end up staying with Ryan for almost three weeks. Much as she missed Janet and the twins, she enjoyed throwing herself into the world of IT, learning a great deal in the short time. Initially it was a bit of a struggle getting the hang of things, but she managed to take care of the essentials. During the third week, Will was available for phone consultation, so she learnt much more, and was able to catch up on some things that she’d had to leave for his input.

The first week apart was the worst. Evenings and bedtime were difficult. She missed Janet so much. Ached to hold her. Of course, it was the same for Janet, and she called every night once the twins were asleep. 

They were both so busy that the next two weeks seemed to go by in something of a rush, and it was time for Bianca to go home. Home to Janet and the kids. How good that felt.

The two women were in their favourite place - cuddled up on Janet’s lounge, with a glass of wine. Well…. second favourite place. On Bianca’s return from Cairns, the favourite place had already seen the release of pent-up longing in a wildly unrestrained reunion. Now, having discussed Bianca’s work, and her time with Ryan, they lay quietly, savouring being together again. 

Janet wriggled free, reached for her wine, fidgeted nervously with the glass. “There’s something I want to ask you, and you need to know that I haven’t made any decision.” Bianca put a hand on her thigh. “What is it? Why are you nervous?” Janet twirled the glass more, blurted out, “Would you consider moving to Perth with me?” Bianca was taken aback. She hadn’t even moved in yet, and Janet was talking about re-locating. Had she really decided to go anyway? Cautiously, she answered, “Tell me what you are thinking.”  
“That’s all it is at the moment. Thinking. Thinking that it might be good to get away from the frantic life we have here. Good for the kids to have space, and Ian’s grandchildren as sort-of cousins. I could practise law there….” her voice trailed off, as she anxiously scanned Bianca’s face.

Accustomed though she was, to thinking on her feet, Bianca was floored, needed time to process what Janet was asking. “How long have you been thinking about this?”  
“Only while you’ve been away. I thought about how your work can take you anywhere you want to go and then realised that mine can, too. From there it was really progression of thought. You don’t have to answer now. Unless you want to.”

Bianca got up, paced around, came back and pulled Janet to her feet. “Do you really expect me to uproot and go to W.A.?” Janet was emphatic. “I told you, it’s just thoughts. I don’t expect anything. I’m asking, that’s all.”  
Taking her by the shoulders, Bianca held her away. Slowly, the little half-smile emerged. “I will consider it, on one condition.” Janet, still too anxious to manage a smile, asked quietly, “And that is?” The half-smile became a cheeky grin. “The condition is…” She paused, the grin still in place.  
Janet’s heart was in her throat. “Well, go on, what is it?”  
“The condition is, that you marry me!”

Janet playfully pushed her away. “You bloody little shit!” Bianca pulled her back, hugged her, held her away again. “Well? Will you?” Janet, all choked-up and misty-eyed, rested her forehead against her lover’s. “Of course I’ll marry you. I’ve been hoping you wanted to.”  
“Well, then, we’d better work out whether Perth is a good option.”  
“If you had said no, I wouldn’t have pursued the idea.”  
“What if I had asked you to move to Cairns with me?” Unbeknown to Bianca, Janet had already considered that possibility. “I’d have been relieved that you wanted me to come with you.” She claimed a lingering gentle kiss. “Is that what you really want to do?” Bianca chuckled. “No, my love. Cairns is great for a holiday, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”


End file.
